Lean Into It
by ee-ii-ee-ii-oo
Summary: It had taken two weeks for Avery to end things with Scarlett. It wound up being easier than he had imagined it ... he and Juliette must now find their way through the difficult circumstances that life tends to give at the most inopportune moments. Starts 2 weeks after 2.10. Final Chapter Posted!
1. Chapter 1

**Lean Into It**

First of all, so many awesome new Juliette/Avery (Aviette? Julery?) stories in the last few days, and I love it!

This one should go up in a hurry. Already have 3 chapters written and it will only be between 7-9 chapters total. And it is outlined to the end. Summary: Juliette and Avery finally get their act together, only to have the past come back and bite them unexpectedly.

Enjoy!

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It had taken two weeks for Avery to end things with Scarlett. It wound up being easier than he had imagined and dreaded it would be, when she blurted out what he already knew... she still loved Gunnar. And she could tell that he, Avery, was as invested in their second chance as she was. She admitted that she knew it even before the night Juliette came by his apartment. The look in his eyes as he called after the superstar just confirmed it for her. They had been lying and using each other for comfort. It was safe and she couldn't - wouldn't - do that anymore. He told her that he felt the same. Parting after a goodbye hug, they closed that door for good.

It took him just a few minutes to look up Juliette's tour schedule, grab the bag he had already packed and head out the door toward the airport.

The two-hour flight to Denver ended just as her show was beginning at Red Rocks. The cab driver looked at him oddly when he asked to be dropped off at the heavily secured backstage entrance, but did as he was asked. Avery didn't have much of a plan after the flight. He just knew he needed to talk to her. Something he hadn't done in two weeks. And it was killing him.

He looked around at the fence that circled the backstage area, unsure of how to proceed.

"Hey, Barkley! What are you doin' out here?" He looked over to see Jim, one of his roadie buddies out behind one of the buses smoking a cigarette.

Avery sighed with relief at a familiar face.

Forty-five minutes later, Juliette stormed backstage after her encore. "What the hell was that?" she barked at her monitor tech as she threw her ear monitors at him. "I couldn't hear the bass at all! Are you completely incapable of doing your job right?!"

The young man just gawked at her as she rolled her eyes and left him stuttering some fearful apology. Glenn caught up to her and fell into step beside her as she muttered about the inept help she was stuck with. Gently grabbing her elbow, her manager stopped her. "Enough!"

She looked at him, surprised at his outburst. "Juliette, listen. I don't know what the problem is. You've been in a particular ... mood since we came back out on the road. We've had four crew members quit in the last two weeks and you fired three more. In case you didn't notice, we have to have a crew to make this tour happen. Whatever bug crawled up your ass when we were back in Nashville, I suggest you leave it there." Rage grew in Juliette's face. Glenn took a step back and placed his hands on her shoulders. "Look, honey. I am only saying this because things are going really well after the whole Wentworth debacle. The last thing you need is Perez Hilton getting a hold of a video from a pissed off former employee who films some of this diva-like behavior. It's not a real scandal, but it will not help fix your reputation. And ... also ... I'm worried about you."

She smirked and backed out of his grip, ripped her stilettos off her feet, and headed for her bus. "Don't worry about me, Glenn. I'm a big girl. Thanks for the pep talk, though," she said over her shoulder, eyes rolling in an attempt to keep her tears at bay.

Her driver already had the bus running and ready to go, as she always requested. She opened the door and walked up the steps, moisture running down her face. "Just go, Eli." He tried to say something, but she stopped him. "I said just GO!" The older man nodded and put the bus into drive, pulling out as she moved up into the living quarters.

She closed her eyes, happy to be alone.

"That's no way to talk to your bus driver."

She froze at the sound of his voice. She was hearing things. That had to be it. Her conscience now sounded like him. Pathetic. Taking a deep breath she slowly opened her eyes, knowing that the bus would be empty. But it wasn't. There, sitting on the sofa, was Avery.

"What ... are you doing here?"

"I haven't heard from you in two weeks," he shrugged. "We need to talk."

She was in no mood for pleasantries. "Now you want to talk?" She threw the shoes she was holding to the floor at his feet and she moved to stand right in front of him. "Okay, let's talk. Let's talk about your perfect little angel-faced girlfriend. Why did that never come up in any one of our many conversations?" She began pacing down the center of the bus as he silently sat and watched her throw all of what was bothering her out into the universe. "Let's talk about the fact that the only thing that I am good at is embarrassing myself. I learned that from my mother. My drug addict mother who, rather than try to help me through an awful situation like any normal parent, decided to kill that sleezeball Dante and then off herself too. Thanks, mom, no news outlets picked up on that one. And that quickie wedding to the virgin football player, that was a great decision. Getting involved with the Wentworths ... we know how that turned out. Apparently, stealing nail polish rates pretty low on the scandal rating this year. Let's talk about the fact that I humiliated myself when I came to your house the other night, just to make sure that I finished up the year the same way I started it! Now I'm standing here, making a fool of myself in front of you again."

She paused, taking deep breaths, leaving him wondering if she was on the brink of a full on mental breakdown. She threw herself onto the other end of the sofa he sat on.

"And you know what the worst part of all of it is? All I have wanted to do is pick up the phone and hear your voice. I still haven't told you. Despite the fact that I know I can never compete with Scarlett, despite the humiliation, despite the fact that I am furious with myself about all of it ... I still want to tell you what I came to your apartment to say."

He nodded and took a deep breath, moving to her side, his eyes fixed on hers. "Then say it."

With her insecurities written plainly on her face, she looked terrified, but his reassuring eyes pushed her to be honest. "I love you. I don't know when it happened. But I know that you ... you make me want to be the best version of myself. No one else has ever done that for me. But ... you do." She pulled her eyes away from him, tears once again falling down her face. "I hope Scarlett appreciates what she has."

Before she knew what was happening, his lips were pressed up against hers, hands gently caressing her cheeks. It wasn't a kiss that stopped time or like the ones that were written about in books. It was patient and gentle and full of heart, with none of the expectations or urgency that her first kisses usually held.

Eventually, he pulled back, though only inches. "Scarlett's out of the picture now. She and I just ... we weren't being honest with each other. It was the safe thing to do, but my heart wasn't in it and neither was hers. And as for all that other crap you went through this year, I don't care. I'm not looking for perfection. I had to come here so that you would know that I feel the same way. I have for a while. I know the real you. You need to know that you are important to me. So I came here to make sure that you knew that I love you too."

The surprise was evident on her face, until she crumpled into sobs. She leaned into his shoulder and he wrapped his arms around her and rubbed small circles on her back. They made small talk and stayed that way until she fell into a deep sleep an hour later. He wasn't sure, but he was guessing it was the first real peaceful rest she had gotten in weeks. After tucking her into the bed in the back room, he climbed into one of the small bunks. He knew there was a lot more talking to do, but there was time for that. The words had been said and that was the reason he followed her to Colorado. As they crossed the border into New Mexico, he drifted off to sleep with a smile on his face.

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**So that is part 1 ... Part 2 = The day before the Grammys, things get ... complicated.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Lean Into It**

**Forgot to put my disclaimer in Chapter 1 ... I don't own anything (though if anyone wants to buy me my very own Deacon Clayborne, I'll take it!)**

Also, I name check a few real life celebs in this chapter. No harm is intended ... Its Grammy week, so I had to do it! What's an award show without famous people! :)

No summary, just a request: Please don't throw things at me when you finish the chapter. Just trust me. Also, reviews are awesome!

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"I think they all look nice," Avery said as Juliette stood in front of the large mirror at her stylists studio in a Los Angeles high rise, wearing a short silver gown by a designer Avery claimed he couldn't pronounce.

She turned to look at him, slightly pale after fighting a severe respiratory infection for the past week. "It's the Grammy's, Avery. I can't just look nice. I have to make a statement. At the very least I don't want to wind up on the worst dressed lists."

"Well, would it help if I said you looked hot in all of them?" he asked, blue eyes grazing down her body not-so-subtly.

She smiled at him from across the room. In the two weeks following their conversation on the bus, they had become inseparable. They would spend the hours on the bus talking about the future, making love, basically enjoying as much domestic bliss as two twenty somethings can have on a traveling tour bus. Neither one of them had ever felt so comfortable, so at home with anyone else. Juliette had never been happier. It seemed as though, for once in her Lifetime-movie-of-the-week life, things were going right. "You always know the right thing to say."

Moments later, Juliette's stylist Olga breezed back into the room, black stiletto boots clicking against the white marble floor. "The purple Marchesa gown is out. I just heard that Beyonce is wearing it. Also, Nicole Kidman is wearing a dress from the same Balenciaga collection as the grey gown you tried on and it's really similar, so you'll need to decide if you want to deal with the comparisons."

Juliette shook her head. "Yeah, I want to wear a dress similar to a six-foot-tall fashion icon at the same award show," she said sarcastically. "So what does that leave us with?"

"The green Elie Saab, the red Chanel or the black Dior," came the response from the other side of one of the numerous racks that filled the room.

Juliette turned to Avery. "I like them all. You pick. Green, red or black?"

"Uh ..." Her boyfriend looked distinctly uncomfortable being put in this position. "I like the green the best."

"Green Elie Saab it is," she said, turning back to Olga. "Make sure no one else decides to wear that at the last minute. I'm still set on the white Armani for the performance, right?"

Once all the alterations were set and the gowns had been put on reserve, Juliette and Avery headed over to the Staples Center for rehearsal. The driver pulled up to the backstage entrance and Avery got out of the SUV first and turned to help Juliette down. Their relationship was still under the radar and they intended to keep it that way as long as possible, so they relished the slight contact as he unceremoniously took her hand to help her down. As she did, the room began to spin slightly and her knees gave way slightly. Avery was the only one who noticed, but he moved his arm around her back to keep her stable.

"Are you okay?" he whispered in her ears as he supported her weight. Concern was written all over his face.

She regained her balance as she nodded. "I'm fine. It's just the antibiotics the doctor has me on. Its happened before. Really. I'm good." She gave him a pointed look and he released her from his grip. They walked side by side to the stage, where they met Glenn and one of the Grammy producers, John. Justin Timberlake was on stage, rehearsing his performance, surrounded by dancers.

John turned and greeted Juliette with a familiar hug. "Sorry about the delay. That's what happens with these big production numbers. You are saving my ass by keeping it acoustic this year, Jules."

"Well, I do what I can to make your life easier." She smiled charmingly at him and turned to introduce Avery as her co-writer/guitar player. As the introduction ended, Justin left the stage, pausing momentarily to greet Juliette with a hug, whispering in her ear to stay strong and to not let the tabloids get to her. Then he and his twenty dancers disappeared. A quick set change and Juliette was center stage standing a a mic, Avery sitting on a stool behind her, playing the opening chords to "Dreams." The rehearsal went perfectly, despite Juliette fighting off the dizziness that suddenly threatened to take her down. She won the battle though, making it through with no one the wiser. Almost no one.

"You need to go back to the doctor," Avery whispered as they descended the stairs. "You looked like you were about to pass out."

"Quiet," she mumbled as they approached Glenn and the producer again. "How was it?"

"Fantastic!" John said. "People are going to be talking about you the next day. It will be a highlight for sure. What a comeback from the whole Wentworth thing only a month ago!"

Juliette blanched a little bit at the backhanded compliment. "Well ... Thanks." Rehearsals then moved on to the next artist and Juliette, Avery and Glenn headed back to the exit.

"You should go back to the hotel and take a nap. You don't look good," Glenn said. Juliette ignored the pointed "See" that Avery said under his breath as they approached the SUV. He grabbed the door handle and pulled the door open.

"I am fine. But yes, I am going back to the hotel. If I take a nap, great. If not, I'm still fine," she fired back as she got up into the backseat. "What time is the Clive Davis party?"

"Be ready by 8," Glenn responded. He pulled Avery back before he could get in beside his girlfriend. "Seriously, she doesn't look good. Do what you can to make sure she takes a nap and eats something. Keep an eye on her. Emily is meeting you guys there." He nodded then got in to find Juliette with her eyes closed, leaning against the oppostie window. He could tell by the pattern of her breathing that she was way ahead of them on the nap thing. He just hoped she wasn't getting too sick.

He gently shook her as they pulled up to the hotel and followed her up to their suite. Juliette's assistant was waiting as promised, and she took one look at Juliette and knew something was off. "Oh my God?! Are you okay?"

Juliette lost it. "Will you people stop asking me that! I am fine. I am just tired and there is ... absolutely nothing wrong with me," she shouted with very little conviction. She tossed her purse on the couch and moved down the long hallway to her bedroom. She burst into tears as soon as she curled up on the bed. She hadn't felt this bad since Avery broke her heart. But this was a different kind of bad. She felt physically ill. And then ... she remembered the words of the Grammy producer. The Wentworth scandal had gone public a month ago, almost to the day.

Her heart sunk down into her stomach and more tears came.

Avery had left Emily to watch over Juliette for a while, so that he could go out and run an errand. He returned two hours later, a bouquet of yellow daisies and a box of her favorite chocolates in his hands. It wasn't much, but he hoped it would make her feel better.

He found the assistant sitting on the couch, working on an ipad. The sound of the door closing made her head pop up and she turned to look at him.

"Hey, Avery."

"How is she?"

"She was asleep a while ago. I think she probably still is. She hasn't been out or made a peep since before you left."

He nodded. "I'm just going to go check on her." He turned toward the bedroom still worried about Juliette.

He quietly opened the door, but didn't find her in the bed. He saw the light on in the bathroom. Placing the flowers and chocolate down on the comforter, he slowly peeked his head into the bathroom. There he saw Juliette sitting on the side of the jacuzzi tub staring at something on the vanity opposite her, eyes puffy and red. "Juliette?"

She looked up at him with a mix of devastation, fear and confusion appearing on her face. He moved toward her, his concern reaching a fever pitch. He knelt down beside her and wiped away a tear on her cheek. "Hey, baby, what's wrong. Are you okay?" She shook her head no, and, unable to say the words, pointed to the countertop she had been staring at. What he saw there knocked the wind out of him.

A pregnancy test, prominently displaying a bright red plus sign.

Neither one of them said a word for five minutes. Finally Avery couldn't stand it. He had to ask. "How far ..."

"Not sure," she mumbled, unable to look him in the eyes. "I ... um. I've missed at least one period. So ..."

"So there's no way this baby is mine," finished for her. He couldn't help the anger that suddenly boiled up within him. He knew that they had only been together for a few weeks and that there had been men before him. But to know that she was forever connected to some other guy, Avery had to work to keep his emotions in check. He wasn't sure he was hiding it well.

"God, I wish it was." She pushed herself off the side of the tub and in one sweeping motion, pushed the test into the trash can. Bracing herself on the counter, she looked up into the mirror and sobbed. "Oh my God. I cannot have Charlie Wentworth's baby. Not after everything. I don't want to have anything to do with him ... and now this!"

He pulled himself together and moved slowly behind her, wrapping his arms around her shoulders, placing a gentle kiss against her temple. "It'll be okay. We'll get through this."


	3. Chapter 3

**LEAN INTO IT ... Chapter 3**

Disclaimer: Still don't own anything.

It was an epic battle to get this written. I struggled with it for far too long, and I apologize for the delay. Thanks to those who have reviewed or sent PMs. All the encouragement helps, so keep it up!

This chapter is Grammy night, and it's not as easy as the stars make it look on TV, especially if you are hiding a massive secret, like Juliette is. Will she make it through the night? Read on to find out.

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Juliette took a deep breath, staring out the tinted window of the limo, still beyond confused at the latest development of her life. As usual, her timing was impeccable. Of course it wasn't until she met the love of her life that some other guy got her knocked up. It probably would have happened sooner, but the universe was out to get her, of this she had no doubts now. And it happening right at Grammy time was just the star on the top of that Christmas tree. She sighed as she looked over at Avery seated next to her.

In the past 24 hours he had been her rock. She wasn't surprised by his initial anger. Had the roles been reversed, she probably would have been half way to the east coast within the hour. But after the shock began to wear off, he had been a prince. He called Glenn and made an excuse for the Clive Davis party, sent Emily back to her room a floor below, and tucked Juliette back into bed. Even though there were some serious discussions that needed to happen, he insisted that they needed a distraction. They had spent the whole night curled up together binge watching reruns of 'Friends'. It was enough to take their minds momentarily off the huge challenge hovering in front of them.

Now on the ride over to Staples, with his hand holding tightly to hers, she tried to get excited about the evening. She was failing miserably.

"You okay?" his voice pulled her out of her thoughts.

She looked up. Nodding, she smiled, but it didn't reach her eyes. The smile quickly faded, knowing that she wouldn't fool him. "Yeah. I'm fine. I feel better than I did yesterday at least."

"Good. This is a big night. Are you sure you will be okay on the carpet alone?" he asked as she leaned into his embrace.

"I won't be alone. Rayna will be there with me. And Glenn and Bucky. It'll be tons of fun," she said, practiced sarcasm dripping out of every word. She wouldn't ever admit to anyone, even Avery, that she was actually grateful that the two managers came up with the idea. It was meant to be a fun photo op for the press, but the reality was that she always admired Rayna's grace on any red carpet. Hopefully Rayna would take any attention off of her. All she really wanted to do was go back to the hotel and hide. But she was resigned to the fact that she really didn't have a choice.

The car pulled up to the carpet and before the usher opened the door, Avery kissed her gently. "I'll meet you backstage. You're going to be fine."

"I love you," she said with a sigh as she gathered up the skirt of her dress.

"I love you too," her responded with an encouraging look on his face.

The door opened and she stepped out, to the cheers of the crowd gathered to catch a glimpse of their favorite stars. Plastering a fake grin on her face, she waved to them. Glenn was immediately at her side and they moved to meet up with Rayna and Bucky.

"Juliette!" She looked up toward the excited squeal. In front of her was Rayna and her daughter Maddie.

For the first time that night, a genuine smile made its way to the blonde's face. There was something about the young girl that she just couldn't help but like. She was clearly more talented than most of the people on the radio. Knowing the truth behind her paternity, that wasn't a surprise. But there was something else that fascinated Juliette about Maddie Conrad. She just couldn't place it. "Hey, girl! Don't you look all grown up," she said to the teen. She wore an adorable, but appropriate red dress.

"Thanks! It's my first designer gown," Maddie said, unable to hide her excitement.

Juliette looked the dress over. "Oooh! Let me guess ... Ralph Lauren?" the teen nodded. "Good choice! Hey, Rayna." The two superstars shared a quick hug and a smile.

"Hey. Sorry you couldn't make it to the party last night." The older star's brow wrinkled and spoke quietly to Juliette. "Are you okay?"

Juliette's smile faltered, but she quickly recovered. "I'm great! Let's get these interviews over with."

Bucky escorted them into the rush of stars and over to where Glenn was waiting at the first booth. It was an interview with Ryan Seacrest and E!

"Hello Ladies!" Ryan said as he greeted them each with a kiss on the cheek. "You both look stunning. We've got about 30 seconds until we are back from the break." They waited for the signal from the producer from behind the camera. "Aaaand we are back on the E! Grammy Red Carpet Special. I am standing here with two of my favorite Country girls ever! Rayna Jaymes and Juliette Barnes. It must be Girls Night tonight!?"

"It is!" Rayna spoke up first. "We thought since we were nominated together it would be a fun thing to do to walk the carpet together. Just kind of hang out."

"And you brought your oldest daughter, too?" Ryan said as he looked over her shoulder at Maddie and waved as the camera panned to her and she got embarrassed.

Rayna nodded. "I did. It's her first red carpet."

"Why not start at the Grammy's, right? Get the biggest award show out of the way," Ryan continued.

"Why Not!" she laughed.

The host turned to Juliette. "And as Rayna mentioned, you guys are nominated together for the song "Wrong Song." Tell me how that song came about, Juliette, because you guys not only sang it, but you wrote it as well, correct?"

She force a smile and nodded. "We did. That song came about the way most country songs do. Two writers lock themselves in a room together, share their heartaches and boom, you have a song. It was ..." she glanced over at Rayna " ... a very interesting co-write. I think we both are really proud about how the song turned out."

Ryan pulled the microphone back. "Well, you'd better be because you are nominated. I love the song! Are you guys singing it tonight?"

"No, unfortunately," Juliette said. "They've got us doing separate things. Maybe next year!"

"So what are you each performing?" Ryan asked.

Juliette spoke first. "I am actually performing my new single which will be out at radio tomorrow morning. It's a song of my new album called, 'Dreams'."

Ryan nodded. "Oh I like that one. It's a ballad."

"Yeah it's a bit of a departure for me," Juliette said, trying to ignore the butterflies fluttering in her belly. "We are doing a completely stripped down version, just me and my guitar player, Avery Barkley, who actually co-wrote the song with me. He's an amazing talent." She couldn't help the glimmer in her eyes.

"Very cool! Rayna?"

The redhead looked coyly at him. "Well I can't tell you what I'm doing. I'm part of a special tribute, but if I talk about it security might kick me out."

They all laughed, as Ryan began to wrap up their conversation. "Well then we will have to watch the show and find out. Thank you both for stopping by to chat. You look beautiful! Who are you both wearing?"

He pointed the mic toward Juliette. "Ellie Saab."

"Carolina Herrara," Rayna added.

"Gorgeous!" Ryan turned from them back to the camera. "Let's see who Guliana has with her."

As they walked away, Rayna leaned over to her, and whispered, "One down thirty to go." Juliette rolled her eyes and followed, trying to keep it together.

Avery found Juliette in her dressing room a little more than an hour later, surrounded by her hair and makeup team. Standing patiently in the doorway, he waited while they finished. As he watched her, he couldn't help but think about the fact that despite the hell she had been through emotionally over the last day, she still looked beautiful. Almost as beautiful as she had been the night before with no makeup and wrapped in his arms. In that moment, he would have frozen time if he could have. Taken the pain of what was ahead away from her. They still had so much to decide, to talk about, to navigate, but he knew without a doubt, despite his initial reaction that he wasn't going anywhere. He just hoped she could make it through the rest of the night. He could tell from her body language that she was struggling. But she never did shy away from a challenge.

"Avery."

She got his attention with barely more than whisper of his name. "Hey. My guitar is with the tech guy and they should be calling for us in a second." He walked closer to her and leaned against the vanity in front of her. "You good?" With the watchful eyes of her fashion team he couldn't kiss her like he wanted or ask her how she really was, but he knew that she saw past his nonchalance.

She didn't say anything, but nodded confidently. He wasn't sure he believed that, but he couldn't ask her anymore questions, as the show's coordinator called them to the stage at that second. He casually helped her from her chair and lead her to the stage. They waited to be introduced and were ready when the wall rose, revealing the smoke covered stage, backed with sparkling silver white drapes of fabric. It was both stunning and simple, perfect for the acoustic ballad they launched into.

From his place behind and to the left of her, he could tell that her voice was strong and clear, showing no signs of trouble. No one would be any the wiser. The audience was still and attentive, and Avery could tell that they were taking in every single word that came out of Juliette's mouth. It was a moment that he knew he would never forget and he didn't think she would either. He knew in that moment that Juliette Barnes had shed the glittery country prom queen image and let the world know that she was a woman who had soul and spirit. She couldn't deny it anymore.

As she sang the last note the crowd, filled with people jaded by years of music industry nonsense, lept to their feet and roared their approval. He moved from the stool he sat on and backed away, letting her take her bow and soak it all in. As the wall was lowered again, she turned to him and he saw tears running down her face and a huge smile where her frown had been earlier. He couldn't help it. He moved to her and wrapped his arms around her and placed a gentle chaste kiss to her forehead. To strangers, it wouldn't look like anything more than someone encouraging a close friend, but between them, each one felt the intimacy of the moment.

That intimacy was quickly shattered as Glenn came around the corner. "That was phenomenal, Juliette! John was right, everyone is going to be talking about it for days. You are already trending on twitter." He blathered on as he pulled her toward her dressing room. Avery knew that her manager was just making sure that she got changed and back to her seat next to Rayna before their category was announced after the next break. But as he watched her walk away, his arms felt empty and he couldn't wait until they were alone. He wanted to be the one to share in the joy of this triumphant moment with her. Maybe it was selfish, but he couldn't wait.

Instead, he shoved his hands in the pockets of his gray suit and slowly walked back to the band area backstage to watch the rest of the show.

She wasn't sure she was going to make it. As Glenn pulled her by the arm to get her to her seat on the front row in time for her category, she felt both on top of the world but helpless at the same time. No one knew that she barely made it through the performance. No one knew that the tears that flowed down her face were only partly the emotion of the moment. They were also from the fear that she might pass out or throw up right there on stage. She had trembled the entire performance, but somehow managed to get through it. She was elated at the reaction, or she would be when she didn't feel like she was going to die.

And Avery. He had literally and figuratively been right behind her the whole time. She knew that him being there was what kept her going ... what kept her upright. And the way he wrapped his arms around her afterwards, she had never felt that kind of love before. And she hadn't even had time to enjoy it.

She got to her seat next to Maddie just as the presenters were announced. The teenager, who was grinning from ear to ear, leaned over and whispered to Juliette. "That was amazing. I want to do that one day."

Juliette smiled sincerely at her. "You will," she said quietly as she looked up and shared a knowing glance with Rayna, who smiled back at her with a nod. Juliette never would have hoped for Rayna Jaymes' approval or respect. Never would have admitted that she wanted it. But now that she knew she had it, it was as if a weight had lifted off her shoulders.

The mother daughter pair then turned their attention back to the stage, and Juliette couldn't help but watch them for just a few more seconds. The closeness, the way Maddie gripped her mother's arm in excitement and bounced in her chair, clearly caught between fading childhood and her budding adolescence. So different from when Juliette was 13. Sighing and reigning in her emotions, Juliette followed suit and watched as the nominees appeared on the big screens above the stage.

The cameras were suddenly in front of them and she forced a smile back on her face, pushing a little bit of joy to her eyes, despite the fact that the room had started spinning again.

"And the Grammy goes to ..." the female presenter, some actress from a comedy Juliette had never seen before, paused. "'Wrong Song' Juliette Barnes and Rayna Jaymes!"

They had done it. She was a Grammy winner. Forcing herself to focus on the moment and not the overwhelming nausea she was pushing back, she stood and hugged Rayna. An ecstatic Maddie squeezed her shoulders with excitement. As they ascended the stairs, Rayna gripped Juliette's hand, almost as if she could tell that the younger woman needed the assistance.

Rayna reached the microphone first. "My word! This is awesome!" she said as the applause began to die down. "I know that when Juliette and I were up all night long writing this song, we never, ever thought that we might win one of these for it ... but we'll take it! I just have one ... well two ... people to thank besides this talented lady standing up here with me," she gestured at Juliette and the crowd cheered again. Juliette was smiling but was praying for the whole thing to be over. Rayna continued talking. "I have to thank the inspiration for the song, and I have to thank both of my daughters. My oldest, Maddie, is here tonight, and I am so, so glad I get to share this moment with her. Daphne, I love you too and I will see you soon," Rayna said as she stepped aside for Juliette.

Taking a deep breath and seeing that the countdown clock only allowed her twenty seconds, she forced herself to speak, despite the blurriness in her eyes and the churning of her stomach. "I um ... Rayna, thank you for writing with me. It was truly an honor to sing this song with you. And to the person who made me realize that love doesn't have to be like it is in this song, thank you and I love you." Taking one more deep breath, as the low music started up, she looked up and held the award to the sky. "Mama, this is for you." The cheers drowned out the band and the show went into a commercial break.

The walk back stage seemed to take forever for Juliette. Just a few more steps and she wouldn't be in view of the cameras or the audience. She glanced over at Rayna who was staring at her, forehead crinkled with concern for the younger woman. It surprised Juliette to see the concern. But that didn't matter much. It was too late. As soon as she stepped back stage, she ran to the first trashcan she spotted where she deposited the miniscule amount of food she had consumed earlier in the day. She felt someone pull her hair back. Thinking it was Avery, she turned, only to find Rayna still behind her calmly rubbing her back. She continue to heave until her stomach was empty. An assistant had brought some water and Rayna, Glenn and Bucky quickly walked her back to the dressing room, out of the prying eyes around them.

Avery was there waiting. As soon as he saw her, he ran over to her, worry evident in his eyes. "What happened?" Juliette's eyes met his and she burst into tears leaned into his chest to cry. Wrapping his arms around her he stroked her back and looked up at Rayna and the managers for a for an indication of what had happened between leaving the stage and getting to the dressing room.

"She threw up all of a sudden. Right after we left the stage," Rayna whispered.

"We need to get her back to the hotel," Glenn said.

Bucky shook his head. "You need to get her to a doctor."

"No," Avery stated firmly. "I mean ... she already has an appointment scheduled for tomorrow back in Nashville. We should probably just head back there as soon as possible. She might feel better sleeping in her own bed."

Glenn nodded in agreement and started making the arrangements. Juliette could still feel Rayna's blue eyes watching them, and she couldn't help but wonder if the redhead suspected anything. Whether she did or not, she didn't say a word, but silently turned and headed to the press room. Alone at last, she heard his voice in her ear. "I'm so sorry you are having to deal with this. I wish I could make it better."

Her response of "You are making it better," was muffled into his shoulder. He had walked her over to a convenient sofa and made her sit as he continued to hold her. They both let out a sigh of relief when Glenn came back and said that the plane was waiting and that Emily would stay behind to get all of the belongings together. Within the hour they were in the air.

It was after midnight when they made their way into Juliette's house. Juliette had slept a good part of the way home, and had said very little when she was awake. Avery flipped on the light switch as soon as they entered the house and immediately took her back to the bedroom. He helped her sit down on the end of the bed and she burst into tears all over again. He sat beside her and again wrapped his arms around her.

"Sssshhh. It's okay."

"No it's not okay! I threw up at the Grammys in front of half of the music industry backstage! It's a matter of time before somebody who saw you taking care of me talks to the tabloids and Rayna had to play mama bear for me! And to top all that off, I'm pregnant by a billionaire fool who I never want to see again! Everything is so freakin' far from okay!" she sobbed into his shoulder. He gently kissed the top of her head and let her cry it out, knowing that absolutely nothing he said in that moment would be the least bit helpful.

Finally her sobs turned to sniffles. She pushed up and looked him in the eyes. "Thank you," she said sincerely. He looked into her eyes and saw a clouded darkness. When she opened her mouth he wasn't sure he wanted to know what she would say. But she looked resigned. Taking his hand, she turned her gaze to the framed black and white photo of them they had taken in Seattle, or was it San Francisco, a week or so before. "You didn't sign up for this. I know that. I would understand if ... if you want out..."

The words just hung in the air for several tension-filled moments. Finally, shaking his head, he gently touched her cheek and turned her to face him. "I'm not going anywhere. We've got a lot to work through, sure, but I'm not bailing. Not now. I'm in it with you, and there is no place I'd rather be." He wondered if he was getting through to her as she just sat there for a while watching him.

Finally a tiny smile appeared. "Okay. I still don't know what I am going to do, but I do know that I need you."

He stood in front of her, placing a hand on her soft, tear stained cheek. "I'm right here."

* * *

So there you go ... how are these two going to deal with a baby and the threat of a media frenzy ... that's chapter 4. Again, love the reviews!


	4. Chapter 4

**Lean Into It**

First of all, my apologies on the delay on this story! This chapter took way to long and I'm still not thrilled with it, but it gets the point across and moves the story to where I am trying to get it.

I still own nothing, and I still love to read your feed back, so reviews are welcome!

* * *

"I want to keep the baby."

Juliette's sudden words caught Avery off guard. The sun was just beginning to rise over the Tennessee hills outside. He had thought she had been asleep, still wrapped in his arms, exhausted from the past 48 hours since the Grammys. He looked over into her eyes and saw nothing but determination. "Okay."

She smiled at his response. He hadn't questioned her decision or tried to change her mind. He just accepted it. "I know that the easiest thing to do would be to get rid of it and just forget it ever happened, but ... Avery, I can't. Even though I'm not convinced I'll be a good mother, I have to try. I have to try to be better than Jolene ever was to me." She rolled closer to him and continued. "I was watching Rayna with Maddie last night. And I realized that I want what they have. It's not a perfect relationship, but the way they look at each other... Mama and me ... we never had that. And I want it."

He pressed a soft kiss to the top of her head. "It's scary, but as long as I've known you, you've never walked away from anything because it was a challenge." He paused, phrasing his next question carefully. "What about the press?"

She grimaced, knowing that the media outlets would be calculating when she conceived as soon as word got out. It wouldn't take them long to connect the dots back to Charlie. And she did not want to have to deal with that ... ever. Maybe it was wrong, but she wanted to keep this child as far away from the Wentworth name as possible. Another media frenzy would make that impossible. "I haven't completely figured that part out yet. I can probably make it through the rest of the tour, before it's too obvious. Then I'm thinking about disappearing for the rest of the year. Jeff will be pissed, but it's too bad. I've been working for Edgehill for five years with no break. I've earned it. Plus I'll tell him I'm creatively burnt out. He'll have no choice."

Avery nodded. "So where are you planning to hide out?"

She reached over and grabbed her phone. Opening the photo gallery she began showing him her plan. "There is this beautiful old farmhouse out on the property I have near Franklin. It was built in the 1850s. The previous owner had it restored, so it's completely livable. I think it would be a good place to hide away."

Avery looked at the pictures of the rustic old home. Not huge, the white wood siding house sat in the middle of a field, surrounded by a few oak trees. Just looking at the pictures, he could envision them sitting on the large wrap around porch, writing songs. "It's beautiful. Sounds like a solid plan."

She paused and then looked up at him. "I know it's a lot of trouble. But I don't want to be out there alone. I ..."

He put his index finger up to her lips, halting her words. "Don't say another word. Do you really think I'd be okay with you living out there all by yourself for so long? Of course I'm going with you. Plus somebody will have to keep you - and the baby - fed, right. A trip to the grocery store might blow your cover," he said, with a smirk.

"Right." She paused and turned to look him in the eye. She knew that he was a bad liar and she could tell if he was just placating her. She had to ask him one more time. "Avery ... are you really okay with this? You're taking this on like it's your baby. It's a lot for me to ask of you."

The eye contact never wavered and when he gently touched her cheek with the back of his hand, she knew that the words were true. "I never heard you ask me for help. I want to be here for you. And right now, being here for you means being here for this baby too. He or she is a part of you and I love you. And I have no doubt that I will love this baby too. Do I wish it was mine? Absolutely. Is the timing not great? No, but life is unpredictable like that. That's the beauty of it. I told you last night that I am not going anywhere, and I mean it."

A look of bliss crossed her face, as she leaned in, kissing him soundly, letting him know that she needed him.

* * *

"Hey, Juliette." The blonde turned to the dressing room door, to see Rayna peeking in. "Can I talk to you for a second?"

"Sure. Come on in."

Rayna did, securely closing the door behind her. "How are you doing?" she said as she sat down on the other end of the sofa.

Juliette looked over at her and smiled. "I'm good. Thanks for coming out on these last few dates. The fans are eating it up."

"I'm glad I could. It's been fun." She hesitated, and Juliette watched her carefully. Finally the redhead looked up and the two pairs of eyes met. "When are you due?"

Juliette looked down in her lap. She had been afraid that Rayna really knew more than she let on ever since the Grammys two months earlier. Moving to avoid eye contact, she pulled at a stray thread of the fraying jeans that she had struggled to button after the show. The question hung in the air until she looked back up. "I ... um ... I'm about thirteen weeks along. I found out the day before the Grammys."

Rayna nodded.

Juliette sighed and ran her fingers through her hair. "You knew, didn't you? When I got sick?"

"I suspected," she responded with a kind look on her face. "Having been out here with you the last few days just confirmed it. I see how exhausted you've been acting. How protective Avery's been. I remember that feeling all too well. I was about your age with Maddie. I wasn't quite headlining at that point, but even as the number two act, it was terrible. I toured until I was seven months along ... I don't recommend that."

"Actually, I'm going to take some time away from things. Disappear for a while." Juliette stood up and began putting her personal items in the travel bag she kept with her.

Rayna wrinkled her brow in confusion. "Why?" she asked as her eyes followed the younger singer around the room. "This isn't twenty years ago. You and Avery love each other and it doesn't seem like he's going anywhere."

Juliette knew she shouldn't do it. The more people who knew, the more likely it was to get out. But this was Rayna. She wouldn't say anything to the press. She turned and looked down at the other woman, still perched on the edge of the sofa. "That's the problem. Avery and I had only been together for a little more than two weeks at the Grammys ... This baby isn't his."

Rayna's eyes widened. "Then who ...?"

"Charlie Wentworth."

An 'O' shape formed on Rayna's lips and a look of realization crossed over her eyes. "And the affair was denied and if this comes out, the media will figure it out, right?"

"Yeah," was all Juliette could say, small tears forming in her eyes. "Avery's been amazing."

Rayna chuckled lightly at the irony, looking distant for a moment. "Deja vu. Except in my case, the sexy guitar player knocked me up and the handsome rich guy married me. You got it backward, kid." She paused as her eyes met those of the younger woman. "Or maybe I did. Look, this won't be easy. But you can do it. I believe in you. I know that you might need someone to talk to ... just know that if you do need someone, someone who's been there, you can call me any time. I know I'm not your mother, but ... "

"That's for sure," Juliette said with a wry smile on her lips. "Thank you, Rayna. Look, you are literally the third person who knows about this. You, me and Avery. Please don't say anything. To anyone. After the show tomorrow night, I'm letting Jeff know that I'm going completely off the radar for the rest of the year. Avery and I are going to be staying in a farmhouse on my property in Franklin. I need that to stay quiet."

Rayna stood and walked over to the petite blonde. "It's not my place to say anything. You've been great about keeping things under wraps about Maddie and Deacon. I owe you the same courtesy. You can trust me." They shared a friendly hug, and as they pulled back, Rayna had a glimmer in her eye. "Jeff's going to be pissed. Can I be there when you tell him?"

For the first time either could remember, the two superstars shared a genuine laugh together. Walking out the door, Rayna's arm around Juliette's shoulders, the giggles continued as they wandered out to the buses.

* * *

Two days later, Juliette found herself sitting in the waiting room outside Jeff Fordham's office. The expensive and very structured business suit she wore hid any hint of her baby bump and exuded the kind of power she needed to get her point across. Usually, Glenn was with her at meetings like this, but not this time. She had talked to him the night before, not giving him any more of an idea of why she was taking this break than she would give Jeff, but assuring him that it would be okay and that he could reach her by phone.

"He's ready for you, Miss Barnes," Jeff's assistant said as she indicated the direction of his office, as if Juliette hadn't been there a hundred times. Rolling her eyes she stood up as tall as she could and walked into the large office with the fantastic view.

"Juliette. Come on in," the label head said from behind the large desk. He stood as she moved into the room. "Have a seat."

"Thank you for seeing me, Jeff." The well-practiced smile she had plastered on her face never faltered. She would charm him before she filled him in on her plans.

Jeff nodded. "Not a problem, Juliette. The show last night at Bridgestone was phenomenal! The reviews were fantastic. Have you seen the latest album numbers? 'Inside the Dream' is still top 5, two months later. That's what I like to see."

"Well, Jeff, I'm just glad to help the label out." It was time to pull the trigger. "Now I need you to help me out."

He sat back in his chair, seemingly bracing himself for what she would ask him. "How so?"

"Not so much help me out as just accept what I'm about to tell you as fact and not question me." Jeff's smarmy smile disappeared, knowing he wouldn't like what she said. "I'm taking the rest of the year off. The tour is done. There are no further tour dates, and we already decided that I wouldn't do the summer circuit. Creatively, I need time to take a break. You wouldn't want me burning out, would you?"

He shook his head. "That's unacceptable."

"Radio loves me, Jeff," she said confidently. "They are going to play me no matter what right now and you know it. The songs will sell themselves. Plus, we are already three singles deep into the album. We've got, what? Maybe two left, if that many? Trust me, when I tell you that I will have a whole new album of fantastic material recorded and ready to go after the first of the year."

"Juliette ..."

Knowing he was about to start throwing a Marketing 101 lecture her way, she stood, chin lifted in defiance. "This is how it has to be, Jeff." She turned on her heel and walked toward the door. "It will be fine. You'll see. See you in six months."

As she walked through the waiting room, she could hear the curses he was shouting after her, and a genuine smile found it's place on her lips.

* * *

**There you go, Chapter 4. Again, I love reviews! Next chapter will pretty much be all Juliette and Avery at the farmhouse. So cuteness is coming!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Lean Into It**

_Disclaimer: Nope, I still don't own anything._

_Thanks so much for the reviews and pms! I appreciate all the nice comments. See the teaser at the bottom for a heads up on the next chapter that should come out pretty quickly._

* * *

"That's the last of them," Avery said, as he sat the final box down in the center of living room. He stood upright and looked around the room, exhausted from the physical labor of the day.

The sun was beginning to set behind the rolling land past the field where the house sat, a golden glow filling the comfortable space with a warmth that neither his small apartment or her sprawling mansion had

ever held. He wasn't really sure if it was the cozy furniture that he and Juliette had ordered or if it was the photos of the two of them that she had already set out on various bookshelves and tables. But it hit him

as Juliette walked in, barefoot, dressed in sweat pants and an old shirt of his that emphasized the swell of her stomach, and her hair falling down her back in loose curls, that the warmth came from them just being

there together. It was because she was with him that everything felt right.

"Finally," she responded with a smile, eyes meeting his across the room "Thank you. I know that was a lot of work."

"Just a few dozen boxes of various weights and sizes. No big deal." He plopped onto his stomach on the tan suede couch and closed his eyes.

Juliette walked closer and stood over him, hands on her hips and a smirk on her face. "No big deal, huh?"

"Uh huh," came the mumbled reply.

She leaned over and placed a kiss on his head. "I'm so lucky to have a big strong man to help me move," she said, a childish playfulness in her voice. A muffled grunt from the pillow was his response, and she giggled as she proceeded to move and sit on the other end of the couch, her legs crossing over then bends of his knees. "Sorry I couldn't help you more."

He rolled his eyes at the absurdity of her statement. "Right. Like I'm going to let a woman who is four months pregnant help with heavy lifting. That wouldn't be very manly of me."

She giggled again, feeling more relaxed than she had in ages. No cameras, no media outlets watching her every move, no paparazzi stalking her. For once she felt completely at ease. "Well, Mr. Manly Man ... this baby and I are hungry."

"I'm supposed to move all of our stuff and cook you dinner?" he whined, sounding more like a child than she had ever heard him sound before. She thought about letting him off the hook, but her growling stomach overruled her kindness at that moment. But she knew it might take some manipulation.

"No. I'll cook. Let me just turn the oven on ..." she said with a smirk as she stood and moved toward the kitchen.

"No!" he yelled, rolling over onto his back. "I just moved all this crap in here. I don't want to see it all burnt to a crisp."

She feigned shock at his commentary on her cooking, a perfectly practiced pout playing on her lips. She knew he didn't stand a chance at this point. "Then what will we eat?"

He sighed and ran a hand over his face. "Hold on, I'll put something together." He paused and seemed to be readying himself to move. "There's just one problem," he said as he looked back up at his petite blonde girlfriend.

"What's that?" she asked, raising an eyebrow at him.

"I can't move."

"Oh really?" she asked moving closer to him.

"Seriously."

"We'll see about that." Within seconds she had her fingers tickling a particularly sensitive spot on his ribcage they both dissolved into laughter. He reached down and grabbed her hands, effectively pulling her up toward him. She sighed as their lips met, finally feeling like she was home. It was foreign to her. The kiss intensified as he sat up and they worked around her bump.

"You still hungry?" he asked between kisses.

She leaned back enough to shake her head. "Not this minute, no." She ran her hands suggestively over his chest, knowing exactly where his mind had gone. "You know, this is our first night in our first place. I think that we need to break in all the rooms. Isn't that tradition?"

"All the rooms?" he asked looking at her skeptically.

"Mmmkay, maybe not all in one night. But our room at least?" she asked as she stood, holding out a hand to him.

He took it and began to lead her up the staircase. "I think that we can manage that."

"Then maybe the kitchen ... because I will get hungry."

"I have no doubt."

* * *

After more than three weeks in the house, they had settled into a comfortable routine. Sleeping in every morning, Having breakfast on the porch swing, spending the next hours just talking or writing together until Avery had to leave for his shift at the Bluebird. It surprised both of them how easily they settled into such a domesticated lifestyle. And somehow they found themselves falling more and more in love with each other every day.

They were sitting on the porch one morning, Avery working on a melody on his Gibson, Juliette toying with some lyrics in her notebook. Suddenly a black SUV appeared at the end of the long gravel road that lead to the house. The sound got their attention simultaneously.

Avery put down his guitar and stood, trying to get a better view of who might be driving the car. "Are you expecting someone?" he asked Juliette over his shoulder.

She shook her head, her pulse racing. "No. You?" She couldn't help but wonder if a photographer had located her? Or Jeff? The ominous looking vehicle roared closer as Juliette pushed herself into a standing position.

"Uh uh." He turned and looked at her. "Just go inside. Who ever it is, I'll take care of it."

"Avery."

"Get inside."

Juliette did as she was told, her nerves on edge.

Avery watched the vehicle closely as it wound it's way up the path. It pulled right up to the house and parked. It was only then that the familiar redhead was recognizable. Avery called back into the house. "It's okay, Juliette. It's just Rayna."

The country legend smiled a bright grin at him, unaware of the tension she had just caused. "Hey, Avery!" she waved as she walked toward him.

He smiled back at her. "If it isn't the big time music mogul herself." They had read a few weeks before in the paper about her leaving Edgehill to start her own label. It was a few editions before the prominent front page headline about the death of Lamar Wyatt.

She shook her head. "Not yet. Maybe one day. Is Juliette around? I sent her like seven texts. She never got back to me. I was worried, so I wanted to come out here and make sure everything was okay." Avery nodded as he heard the front door open.

"Cell service sucks out here," the blonde said, appearing in the doorway. "Sorry about that. I'll probably get them next Tuesday. Sorry you had to come all the way out here."

"No worries." Rayna looked the young singer up and down, a smile filling up her face as she climbed the steps. "Look at you! You popped!"

Juliette laughed as she subconsciously rubbed a hand over her sundress-clad belly. "One day things were normal, the next day I couldn't see my toes." Juliette sat back down on the swing as Rayna took one of the rocking chairs.

"That's how it happens," Rayna said, nodding knowingly. "How are you feeling?"

"Pretty fantastic, actually. Dr. Smith, thanks for recommending her by the way - she's fantastic, says everything is great." She glanced over to see Avery grinning at her, knowing she wanted to tell someone. He nodded and winked at her. "... and we just found out the sex."

Rayna got an anxious look on her face. "And ..." she prodded.

"A little girl," Juliette revealed with a huge smile.

"I knew it!" Rayna clapped her hands together, having secretly hoped that Juliette would be blessed with a little girl.

Avery then excused himself to go get ready to head over to the Bluebird. He left a comfortable silence between the two women as he disappeared behind the screen door. Rayna couldn't help but notice the look in Juliette's eyes as she watched him leave. It reminded her very much of how she used to look at Deacon when their relationship was new and not marred by the years of drama that followed. She didn't wish that on Juliette or Avery. She was praying that they would make it. They were so right for one another.

The blonde's voice pulled her from her thoughts. "I'm sorry to hear about your dad, Rayna. I'm sorry I couldn't make it to the service. How are the girls?"

"Devastated." Her words took Juliette back to her own mother's funeral the year before. She looked over at Rayna, sympathy in her eyes. "There was so much going on. The flowers you sent made a huge difference for them. Thank you. "Everything else is ..." her voice faded. "I really don't want to talk about it, if you don't mind."

Nodding, Juliette changed the subject. "Sure. So what were all the texts about?" she asked curious about what brought Rayna out this far. There had to be a reason other than concern.

"Jeff is trying to sell your contract out from under you," Rayna blurted out, rolling her eyes. "He's pissed about you taking this extended break."

Juliette's jaw was on the floor and anger, oddly mixed with relief filled her being. "Can he do that?"

"Apparently. Jeff's a business man. He wouldn't make a move that big if he didn't know he could get away with it."

Juliette shook her head, unable to really put together what she was thinking.

Rayna moved the chair closer to Juliette. "Look, I wanted to talk to you about this before I talk to Jeff, but I would love it if you would consider becoming a part of Highway 65. I think we make a good team, and with ... Daddy's inheritance, I have enough money to entice Jeff. I might not have the promotional budget or a massive conglomeration behind me like Edgehill has, but you will be able to run your career the way you want. Create the music you want to make. I know it's a leap of faith, but I wanted to get your pulse on it."

Taking a moment to get her bearings, she looked at her. "My gut reaction is that I like the sound of that. It would get me away from Jeff. I want to think about it a little more, is that okay? And I want to talk to Avery about it too."

"Take your time," Rayna said with a reassuring smile. "I'm not spending that money on anyone but you. But I will go ahead and start talks with Jeff, just in case. Is that okay? Can I have Bucky call Glenn?"

Juliette nodded. She then smiled a half-hearted grin and bit back a chuckle. "You should tell him I'm pregnant ... you might get a better deal."

They laughed but Rayna shook her head. "I wouldn't do that. You know, I've done the working mom thing for the past 14 years and I know that it will be difficult at times, but just know that if you do decide you want to be a part of Highway 65, family will always come first. Think about whether Jeff will allow you that luxury." And with those parting words, Rayna stepped off the porch, back into her SUV and disappeared down the gravel road.

* * *

The warmth of the summer evening embraced them as they walked hand in hand down the path to their favorite spot on the property, on a small hill just next to the lake under an old oak. They had often brought picnics out to this place, or he'd bring his guitar and they would work on a song, or they'd make love in the middle of the day without the fear of getting caught. It was where she learned about his strained relationship with his father, who had wanted him to go to law school and resented the passion his only son had for music. He told her about his housewife mother, who spent her time volunteering with the elderly and underprivileged. And Juliette found out about his three older sisters - the attorney, the doctor and the stay at home mom - who sounded just a little bit too perfect to be real. It was also here that he learned more than he wanted to about the horrible men that Jolene kept around the trailer after Juliette's dad died. She told him about how she would move her dresser in front of her bedroom door to keep the worst of them out of her bed, before she was even old enough to know what he was doing to her. He held her as she cried, talking about how her mother was too high to care what those men did. And it was also where they talked about the future. Where he told her that he realized that his path wasn't performing, but producing. He loved being on stage, but the freedom to create appealed to him far more than the restraints that came with record deals. She admitted to him that she wanted to slow down a bit after the baby came, though she wasn't sure what her label would say about that. She knew her trajectory as an artist had changed.

"I've been thinking about what Rayna said," Juliette spoke up as she lay on her back on the blanket they had brought with them. She loved looking up through the tree branches and up at the stars that were so bright this far from downtown.

"About joining Highway 65?" he asked as he plucked a chord on his guitar beside her. She nodded. "So what's the verdict."

Looking over at him, she rolled her eyes. "You already know. I told you how I just don't feel like any of the stuff we've done in the last few months will fit into Jeff's vision of my career. I don't want to fight him anymore. Not on the creative side and not about my time management. I'm over it. It's not worth it."

He watched her breath a sigh of what looked to be relief. "So you're going to tell her to do it? To make the deal?"

"Yeah. I am," she said, nodding at him. "It just feels right. Plus, I like the idea of working for a strong, independent woman who understands what it's like to be an artist and a mother. What do you think?"

He grinned and placed a chaste kiss on her forehead. "I think it sounds like a fantastic idea."

"Good." At that moment, Juliette felt a swift kick to her ribcage. It tickled more than anything and she giggled as she placed her hand on her belly. "I think she agrees."

"She kicking?" Avery asked with interest.

"Yeah. Want to feel?" She asked hesitantly. She hadn't pushed him on the subject up to this point, afraid that as it became more real he would back away from this child. She couldn't blame him. The baby inside her wasn't his little girl. Not biologically, at least. No one would blame him for resenting that fact. But he had never wavered. Juliette was a little afraid that actually feeling her move might make it too real and would scare him away.

But on his own accord, he lifted his hands to her stomach. His eyes went wide when he felt the gentle fluttering inside. "That is amazing."

"It is, isn't it."

He took a deep breath and sat his guitar down and moved closer to her. She could see something in his eyes that she couldn't quite place. For a moment it worried her that something had snapped and he was going to call it quits. But she knew that was just her own insecurity rearing its ugly head. He never broke eye contact as he reached into the pocket of his jeans and took something out. It wasn't until he placed the item on top of her belly that she could tell what it was.

A perfect square cut diamond, in an antique scrollwork setting.

Her breath caught in her chest. She looked up at him and then back down at the ring and then back up at him, her eyes begging him to say something ... anything.

He took her hand as he began to speak. "It's the ring that my grandfather gave my grandmother back in 1948. It had been in his family for years before that. He died in the Korean War in 1953 when my mom was only two. Nana loved music. She taught me to play piano when I was a kid. I think she's a lot of the reason I am who I am. She always said that he would have wanted her to get married again, but she was just too much woman for any other man to handle." he laughed lightly, recalling the story. "She was a spitfire. Never took any grief from anyone, followed her own path, did her own thing. You actually remind me a lot of her. Before she died a few years ago, she gave me this ring. She knew my sisters all wanted it, but she gave it to me and told me that I would have someone special to give it to one day. Someone who made me feel complete, who would encourage my music, who loved me the way my grandfather loved her. And now that I've found you, I don't ever want to let you go. So if you ... and the baby ... will have me, I want to marry you. And raise this baby as our little girl."

For once in her life, Juliette couldn't find her voice. Tears were welled in her eyes. All she could do in the moment was nod, a huge smile on her lips. As he reached down to pick up the ring and placed it to where it fit perfectly in place on her hand, she knew that she finally had what she had always wanted and never thought she would find. A family of her own.

* * *

So, I promised a tease of the next chapter:

_He heard her before he was fully awake. In his dreams her moans were sounds of pleasure ... but as he woke back into consciousness, Avery suddenly became acutely aware that Juliette was moaning in pain, not ecstasy._

All I will say beyond that is that this story is a romance/angst for a reason ... Enjoy and let me know your thoughts!


	6. Chapter 6

**Lean Into It**

Again, I own nothing...

Warning: Angst ahead (because life can't always be cute / fluffy) Love, love, love to read your comments!

This chapter takes place a few weeks after the engagement ...

* * *

He heard her before he was fully awake. In his dreams her moans were sounds of pleasure ... but as he woke back into consciousness, Avery suddenly became acutely aware that Juliette was moaning in pain, not ecstasy. He sat up, panic rising up through his being, only to find her curled into a ball on her side of the bed, gasping for breath and paler than any live person should be. She was sweating and tears were running down her cheeks.

"What's wrong, Juliette?" He was instantly leaning over her, trying to figure out what do to.

"The baby," she sobbed. Fear was evident on her face. "It's too early, Avery. It hurts. So much."

Throwing on jeans and a t-shirt, in seconds he was back at her side. "We need to get you to the hospital. Can you walk?"

She shook her head no. He had no choice. Wrapping her in a blanket he lifted her into his arms and carried her out to his car. He buckled her into the passenger side as best he could. Shutting the door, he paused long enough to notice the blood. On his hands, his clothes, the car ... it was too much blood. The urgency of the situation escalated and he prayed that the 30 minute trip back into Nashville would be quick.

During the drive he phoned her OB who happened to be on call and would meet them at the private back entrance of the hospital. She assured him that the team she had with her would respect their privacy. He didn't really care about that at the moment - he only wanted Juliette to be okay - but he knew that she would worry about it. He thanked her as he hung up and drove far too fast into the city. Somewhere during the trip just before they got to the hospital she had lost consciousness. The amount of blood on the floor of the car terrified him, and he couldn't help but press the pedal a little bit harder.

As promised, Dr. Smith met them at the back with three nurses who quickly got Juliette out of the car and onto a gurney. Before Avery could even follow, they were inside. He ran to catch up with them, his ears filled with medical jargon the team was throwing around. Finally they reached a door that read "Authorized Personnel Only." The doctor stopped and turned to him, while the nurses wheel Juliette through the doors.

He moved his head to watch her until the doors slammed shut.

"I have to ..." he helplessly pointed in the direction they had taken her, trying to keep himself from pacing.

The middle-aged woman looked at him directly. "Avery. You can't go any further. You have to trust me on this. She is in the best hands she could possibly be in. I have one of the best obstetrical surgeons in the country already waiting in an operating room and a world-class neonatologist on standby in case we have to deliver. My team is prepping her and I am going to go in there and figure out what the problem is. It may be a placental abruption or any number of things, but I won't know for sure until we get an ultrasound, which we will do momentarily."

"Is ... she going to live?" He couldn't even believe he was asking the question. Just hours before they'd had a cozy dinner at home and had been discussing names, talking about her next album ... and now he wasn't sure she'd survive the night.

The doctor sighed. "We need to get the bleeding stopped, but we can do that. We need to stop it soon. However it will likely mean that the baby will be born tonight."

Avery's jaw dropped. "She's only 25 weeks. Can she survive that?"

She paused for a moment. "It has happened before. But there are certainly no guarantees. We just have to hope for a miracle. I have to go in now."

And with that she disappeared behind the doors.

Completely lost, Avery just stood there, staring at the dark wood door, wondering what was going on behind them. He wasn't sure how long he stood there. Eventually, a kind looking nurse walked out and called him by name. He looked over at her, searching for answers. "Dr. Smith thought you might still be here. She wanted me to show you to a waiting room. We have a private one just down the hall." He followed her to a small room with grey walls, a green couch, a tv mounted on the wall and not much else, except a window that looked down onto the entrance of the hospital, eerily still in the middle of the night.

"You can wait in here, Mr. Barkley. Dr. Smith will be back to update. Can I get you anything?"

He silently shook his head and the nurse left him alone with nothing but his thoughts to occupy him. In the silence, he finally broke. The tears came. He cried. For the baby who was probably going to be brought into this world far too early, who barely had a chance. For the love of his life, who was fighting for hers. For himself, knowing that losing her would end him. He looked around the empty room, feeling more alone than he had in his entire life. He knew if something happened, he couldn't handle it on his own.

Pulling his phone from his pocket, his hands shook as he sent a text to the one person he knew would be there.

Half an hour later, a disheveled, but still mostly put together Rayna Jaymes walked in, worried expression marring her face. "How is she?"

"Don't know yet." he said, his voice raw and breaking.

Rayna sat down next to the young man on the couch. Placing a hand on his shoulder, and ignoring the blood that had stained his clothes, she sat with him in silence, knowing that nothing she said could fix this. She watched as he wiped his eyes repeatedly, seeing the devastation on his face. Not that she ever doubted it, but it was clear in that moment how much he loved Juliette and how much he loved that child that wasn't even his. It was remarkable maturity for a man so young.

Finally, minutes or hours later, the door swung open, revealing the young doctor, whose face was unreadable. Avery was immediately on his feet and in front of her. Rayna followed suit, keeping a bit of distance, but staying just close enough to be there if the outcome wasn't good.

"She's a tough, strong woman, Avery. She made it through the surgery." He released a breath that he didn't know he had been holding as the redhead behind him sighed with relief. "We still have to watch her carefully. She's not out of the woods, but she's a lot closer than she was. We have to watch her very carefully for the next few hours. But I do think she will be okay."

Avery resisted the urge to hug the woman, though it took some doing. "Can I see her?"

"Not just yet. She is still sedated. I will be an hour or so before I can take you in," she shook her head.

He nodded, not bothering to hide his disappointment. His mind then went to the next obvious question. "And the baby?"

"Dr. Chen is examining her in the NICU," Dr. Smith said. "She is tiny. She weighs about a pound and a half. Her lungs are the biggest concern right now. Like most of her other organs, they aren't developed completely. We've put her on a ventilator to help her breathe."

"Will she live?"

The physician glanced back at Rayna, their eyes meeting for a brief second. The country legend looked down at the floor, as the physician looked into Avery's eyes. "I want you to talk to your daughter's doctor. He will have a better picture of where she is developmentally, as well as what else she may have to deal with to survive."

His daughter. The words hit him in the gut, and he felt the color drain out of his face as he took in the fact that he was a father. And Juliette was a mother. He couldn't imagine telling her that the baby wouldn't make it. But he was nothing, if not a realist. Babies that tiny rarely survived. He knew deep down that it was a conversation that would happen. And he dreaded it.

"Would you like for me to take you to the NICU? It's just down the hall. Not far," Dr. Smith asked.

He looked back up and nodded numbly. He moved to follow her, stopping at the sound of Rayna's voice behind him. "I'll just wait here."

"Will you come?" He didn't want to do this alone.

Rayna was surprised, but it showed her how lost he was. She moved closer to him. "If you want me to I will."

He nodded again. She placed a gentle hand on his back and they began to follow the doctor to the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit.

Once they got there, Rayna waited just outside the glass door, watching as the nurse took Avery through the procedures of washing his hands and gowning up in order to get close to the little girl, who wasn't his, but who he loved just the same. She could tell just by the look of love in his eyes. It was the same look she had when she held Maddie and Daphne for the first time. She couldn't help but wonder if Avery and Juliette would ever get to hold their precious little gift.

As the nurse led him up to the incubator, Avery knew that nothing could have prepared him for what he saw there. A tiny, barely moving, barely breathing little human lay there helpless, hooked up to countless monitors and machines. He wanted nothing more than to pick her up and fix her... but he couldn't. And his heart broke over it. He couldn't hide the tears that streamed down his face, wishing that he could trade places with her. To give her a chance at a life.

He couldn't touch her, but he could talk to her. Let her know that she wasn't alone. "Hey, little one," he said quietly, voice catching in his throat. "I'm your daddy. Your mommy would be here if she could. She's in her own room ... getting better. I know she wants to meet you. So you need to hang on, you hear me. She is so strong. And you are too," he paused. "I love you."

Rayna could barely make out his words, but they brought tears to her eyes anyway. It was heartbreaking to watch the painful scene. She finally turned away to give him privacy as a slender man in a white lab coat came in and began to talk to Avery. She stepped out into the hallway, breathing deeply to keep her own emotions at bay.

"It was good of you come sit with him."

Rayna looked over and saw Dr. Smith behind a nurses station looking over a chart.

"They're good kids. Somebody has to be there for them."

Dr. Smith nodded, completely aware of their situation, and smiled at Rayna. At that moment her pager went off. She looked at it and the smile disappeared. She grabbed another chart and hurried down the hall, shouting at the nurse manning the desk, "Page pulmonary and respiratory stat. PACU Pod 2!"

Rayna knew something was wrong. She knew she shouldn't follow the doctor, but fear kept pulling her toward the door the doctor had disappeared behind. She glanced through the window, seeing five or six nurses, doctors and technicians surrounding a bed, though she couldn't make out if it was her former rival who she had somehow come to call a friend. She felt herself being pushed aside as more people in scrubs burst into the room.

As they made their way to the bed, the team assembled parted enough for her to see. There lying flat on her back was Juliette, covered in more blood, monitors ringing out that she was losing her fight. It was when a man in scrubs pulled out the paddles, like the ones they had used on her father when he had his heart attack, that Rayna knew she had to turn away. She couldn't watch Juliette slip away. Hurrying down the hall, she stopped midway between Juliette's room and the NICU and leaned against the wall, closing her eyes, terrified at what she had just witnessed. Terrified at the outcome.

"Rayna? What's going on?" Opening her eyes, she saw that she was face to face with Avery...

* * *

So um ... don't hate me. Trust me... Please! Let me know your thoughts in the review section!


	7. Chapter 7

**Lean Into It**

I am so completely overwhelmed at the response to the last chapter. Those reviews were awesome. So awesome in fact that they got me re-motivated and I essentially finished the final chapters. Just some touch ups left, so I will probably have the rest posted by the weekend (I hope!) Thank you!

My beta made me promise to include this: **Kleenex warning**! I'm sorry.

Still own nothing. I also borrowed lyrics from the Martina McBride song "Long Distance Lullaby." The song doesn't actually have much to do with the situation, but the chorus completely fit my needs, so I went with it.

* * *

_"Rayna? What's going on?" Opening her eyes, she saw that she was face to face with Avery..._

It was when Rayna refused to look him in the eye that Avery turned and purposefully walked down the hall to where he knew Juliette was being held in recovery. Seeing men and women in scrubs rush in and out of the room caused him to quicken his pace to a sprint. He skidded to a halt in front of the door. He couldn't see her, but he knew all of those doctors and nurses were surrounding Juliette's bed. He could feel it. He stood frozen in place until Dr. Smith noticed him in the doorway. Walking over to him, she gently pushed him away from the doorway.

"What happened?" he demanded, working to keep his volume in check.

"Avery, her blood pressure dropped radically. We are working to control it. You cannot be here. It's not doing you or her any good." He just continued to stare at her, unmoving. The physician knew she had to get tough. She spoke in a low, but clear voice. "I should be in there with Juliette, but instead I am out here dealing with you. I am going back into my patient's room in five seconds, and if you are not standing past the nurses station by the time I'm back in there, I'm paging security and letting them take care of it. Please. Let me take care of my patient."

Defeat came over his entire body. His shoulders slouched and he hung his head, ashamed of himself. Ashamed of keeping Juliette from getting all the care she needed. He turned and walked back to where Rayna had stood unmoving througth the entire ordeal. He heard Dr. Smith's voice behind him. "Hey ... I'll come talk to you as soon as I can, okay?"

"Yeah. Thanks." It was almost as if he resigned himself to losing both Juliette and the baby. He walked past Rayna, not even glancing her way as he passed her on the way back to the waiting room. She followed him and watched in silence as he leaned against the wall and sank to the floor and wept. At a complete loss, she walked over beside him and sat down. She wasn't close enough to hug him or hold his hand, but she was close enough for him to feel her presence. He knew she was there if he needed her.

Forty minutes later, Dr. Smith entered the room and looked at the pair. Neither one of them looked up at her until she moved to sit on the ground directly across from them.

"She's gone, isn't she," Avery asked, in a broken voice that scared Rayna. It was as if a darkness had fallen over him.

The physician shook her head, a half smile on her face. "We got her back. We had to shock her heart twice and we gave her a significant blood transfusion. I'm not going to lie. She's still in serious condition. We will monitor her and hope we see some improvement in the next 24 hours. But she is alive, Avery."

He looked up, relief filling the space where pain had previously been. "Thank you... for saving her."

She nodded and stood. "I think she's stable enough for you to go sit with her for a little while."

A short time afterward, he was seated on her left side, listening to all the monitors beep at regular intervals, watching her chest rise up and down, her small hand gripped in both of his. He was subconsciously turning her engagement ring around her ring finger, over and over. He would occasionally pull the hand toward him, placing a kiss just above the diamond. He talked to her so quietly that no one else could hear him. "Juliette, I really hope you can hear me, baby," he said in an attempt at willing life back into her. "You need to wake up. You need to ... to meet your little girl. Our little girl. She's is ... so beautiful. So small. But she is hanging on. For you. She needs her mother to hold her. I know that it's not going to be easy, but I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere. You're a survivor. I need you to keep being one. Because really, if I lose you, I'll never be a whole person again. Please don't leave me." A tear dropped from his blue eyes, landing on the white sheet she lay on.

Feeling helpless and useless, he did something he knew he didn't do enough. He prayed, begging God not to take her from him. He never asked for anything. Now he just wanted to keep Juliette with him. He was already reeling from the fact that they were losing the baby. Her doctor had all but come out and told him that she was too little, too underdeveloped to survive. She had a few days at most. He couldn't lose Juliette too. Maybe it was selfish, but he couldn't help it. He wasn't willing to let her go. Not yet.

As the sun rose outside the hospital, he lay his head on her bed and let sleep overtake him, the sound of her breathing a lullaby in his ears.

* * *

"Where is she?"

The mumbled voice woke him from a restless sleep a few hours later. Thinking he was hearing things Avery sat up and looked around. His neck was stiff and his arm was numb, but none of that mattered as he saw Juliette's slightly opened eyes.

"Where's the baby?" she asked again, placing a weak hand on her now empty abdomen.

Jumping to his feet, he leaned over the bed, placing a gentle kiss on her nose. "Thank God you're awake." He reached over and pressed the button to the nurses station. He wanted Dr. Smith to check on her as soon as possible.

"Avery, please ... What happened?" She could barely whisper and was too weak to sit up, but he could see the determination in her eyes. He would have prefered to wait for the doctor, but she was relentless.

Taking a deep breath, he began to tell her all that she couldn't remember. "Dr. Smith said that you had severe placental abruption. You lost a lot of blood. They had to deliver the baby in order to keep you alive." He thought about telling her about how her blood pressure had dropped and he had almost lost her a second time, but he didn't want to tax her emotions too much. He could tell her another time. "The baby is up in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit."

"Oh, God. She wasn't ready." Juliette shook her head and stared at the ceiling, working to keep it together as the doctor and a nurse walked into the room. Relieved, Avery let Dr. Smith take care of filling in the rest of the details for his fiancee. He couldn't tell her anymore. He didn't know where he had even gotten the strength to tell her what he had.

"... Now that you are awake and your pressures seem normal I feel pretty confident that we can move you to a regular room," the physician said, a slight smile graceing her face.

"You haven't said anything about my baby, Dr. Smith," Juliette said, her words surprisingly calm. Avery knew that meant that she would explode at any second. "Avery said she is in the NICU. What is wrong with her?"

Placing a hand on the end of the bed, she looked her patient in the eye. "Juliette, your daughter was born extremely early. She weighs less than two pounds. But I assure you that she is recieving the absolute best care she could get anywhere. Dr. Chen is known around the world. He will be able to give you much better information than I could. If you'd like I can have him come to your room once we get you settled in to give you an update."

"I need to know now," Juliette said, shaking her head.

"We will get you moved in the next few minutes, I promise."

It was a promise that she kept, as Juliette was moved into a very nice suite ten minutes later. Avery held her hand the whole time, though she didn't say a word to anyone. He could tell she was upset about the lack of information about the baby, the pout on her face a clear indication. He couldn't blame her. But he knew that the news would be best coming from Dr. Chen, and he was relieved that it wasn't something he would have to do. He would just be there for her, knowing that she wouldn't take it well.

Twenty minutes after being moved, Dr. Chen appeared in the doorway. Making eye contact with Avery, who nodded, he made his prescence known to Juliette.

"Ms. Barnes, I'm Dr. Chen. I've been caring for you daughter." He walked close to the bed, glancing at her vitals as any physician would do.

Fighting her weakness, Juliette moved to sit up. Avery helped her into a more upright position, then sat gently on the side of the bed so that he could be as close to her as possible. Grasping her hand in his, she leaned back against him slightly.

"How is she? When can I see her?"

He nodded. "I'll talk to Dr. Smith to see about getting you over to the NICU. Your daughter weighed 1 pound and 8 ounces, which is what we would expect from a 25 week preemie. Right now we have her on a ventilator to help her breath and on antibiotics to attempt to prevent infection." He paused sympathy in his dark eyes. Juliette felt Avery grip her hand tighter. "We've given steroids to speed up the lung development ... but I'm afraid it's not working. Her lungs are just too underdeveloped. We are doing what we can, but even we are limited in what can be done."

Juliette fought the tears brimming in her eyes and shook her head in denial. "Please, there has to be something."

"I'm very, very sorry, Ms. Barnes," he said, placing a gentle hand to her shoulder. "She mostly likely won't make it another 48 hours. Probably less than that. You should prepare yourself."

Juliette couldn't believe what she was hearing. He had to be wrong. Her baby girl couldn't be dying. Her internal denial lasted only a few seconds after the physician exited the room. Her whole world crumbled in seconds. She thought she was drowning. Unable to breath, she felt as if her world was ending. She heard her own cries, raw and primal, as if they belonged to someone else entirely. In the midst of the fog that had settled, the feeling of arms around her tightened. She glanced up to find silent tears falling from Avery's eyes as well. The feeling of his lips pressing gently against the top of her head caused her to melt into him,both of them searching for the strength to keep going.

Still weak from her own ordeal, Juliette eventually cried herself to sleep in his arms as they lay side-by-side on the tiny hospital bed. He couldn't sleep for worrying about her. When his phone buzzed in his pocket, he wanted to ignore it, but he knew the distraction might be good for him.

No surprise, it was a text from Rayna. "Just wanted to check in. How is she doing? The baby? You? Should I come back?"

He looked over at the woman in his arms, looking so young and helpless, and knew that he couldn't be her only support system. She would need a woman to talk to when this was all over. His response was simple: "Please."

A few hours later, Juliette stirred, turning to look at him. "Any word about when I can see her?"

"Not yet," he shook his head.

Her chin quivered as she took in a deep breath. She gripped Avery's arm tightly as if she was searching for the strength to accept the inevitable. "I have to hold her. Just once."

"I know," he responded quietly, pressing a light kiss to her lips, then tightening his hold on her. "You will. I promise. You've got to take care of you too, though." He was worried about her and the thought of the complications Dr. Smith warned him about still had a grip on his mind. He couldn't stand the thought of the stress of losing the baby causing Juliette to ignore her own health.

She nodded, tears still in her eyes. "What does she look like?"

He smiled a genuine smile, thinking about the tiny person laying in the incubator down the hall. "She's beautiful. Looks just like her mother," he added, softly brushing his thumb across her cheek to wipe away a stray tear.

She couldn't hold back though, as the fear of the inevitable rose back up around her. "Oh, God, Avery. I don't know that I can do this. I'm not strong enough. I don't know that I can let her go. I mean, she doesn't even have a name yet."

It was a thought he'd had as well, but he was afraid bringing it up would make things worse. "Then I think we need to give her one."

Juliette nodded. She brought her hand up to her face to wipe her face again, a shimmer catching her eyes. She froze, and held her hand out where she could see her engagement ring. "Your grandmother." She looked up into his blue eyes. "What was her name?"

"Abigail."

A small smile appeared amidst the wet tracks on her face. "Abigail," she repeated, nodding slightly. "It's beautiful."

A light knock on the door, grabbed their attention, and Avery lifted his head to see Rayna looking through the window. He saw the panic on Juliette's face. "It's just Rayna. She wanted to come by and check on you. She ... she was here with me all night. She was the only one I could call and still protect your privacy. I couldn't be alone, not knowing ... You know as well as I do, she's not just your boss. She's worried about you."

"I know. I want to see her."

Avery motioned her in as he slid off the bed and helped Juliette sit up.

"You don't know how relieved I am to see you sitting upright. You gave us quite a scare, young lady," Rayna noted as she gently leaned in to hug her. "How do you feel?"

"Empty," Juliette responded, her eyes shining. "They said her lungs aren't developed enough. I'm losing my baby, Rayna."

Forehead wrinkling with concern, the older woman looked up at Avery for confirmation. Her heart broke for the young couple as she saw the pain in both of their eyes. "I am so sorry, sweetie." Rayna's kindness was all that it took for Juliette to dissolved into another fit of tears. The older woman wrapped her arms around her, and Avery decided it would a good opportunity for him to step out of the room for a bit. Stretch his legs. He wanted to stop by the NICU again.

But upon entering the room, he instantly wished he hadn't. Dr. Chen stood with another doctor next to their daughter's incubator, a grim look on his face.

The doctor looked up and saw the little girl's father watching him. "Mr. Barkley, I'm glad you came down. I was about to come up and talk to the two of you. Her stats are dropping rapidly. She doesn't have much longer. If Ms. Barnes wants to hold her, we might want to do it sooner rather than later."

Shock took hold of Avery and his heart clinched at what was coming. "So soon?"

"Your daughter-"

"Abigail ... we named her Abigail."

The doctor smiled at him kindly in understanding. "Abigail developed an infection and has fluid on her lungs. We are out of options, I'm afraid."

Fifteen minutes later, Rayna and Avery along with a nurse had gotten Juliette settled into a wheel chair, and entered the NICU where the doctor was waiting for them. He had prepared Juliette before she came down and though she wasn't ready to let go, she knew she had to be strong. For Abigail.

She gasped as she saw the tiny frail body for the first time. Drawing a few deep breaths, she looked up at Avery, and then nodded to the doctor.

Gently and carefully, Dr. Chen disconnected all of the monitors and wires so that the new parents could hold her. The silence of the room made the tiny girl's struggle for breath echo in their ears. The doctor then picked her up easily and placed her into Avery's waiting arms. He couldn't believe how tiny she was, practically fitting into just one of his hands. The slight movement of her chest, up and down, and the instinctual grasping of her hands made the pain of what was to come grow even stronger. Holding her for a few precious moments, he could feel that she didn't have long. Kneeling down in front of Juliette, who was already in tears, he placed Abigail on her mother's chest. He knelt next to the chair and wrapped an arm around his fiancee's shoulders, keeping close watch over them, wishing desperately once again that he could stop time and they could live in that moment.

Juliette looked down at the delicate child she held, placing a soft kiss on her head and breathing in her scent. Just one of few memories they would ever have together. Taking a deep breath, she whipsered in to her ear. "I am so, so sorry baby girl. Abigail. I love you so, so much. I would have tried to be a good mother. I wish I had more time to show you that."

"You should sing to her." Her blue eyes, brightened by the tears, look up and into his.

"I don't know that I can," she whispered, audible only to him.

He didn't say another word, but the look on his face spoke volumes. It gave her the strength to do what she could with the little time they had left. With a quivering chin, she opened her mouth, softly singing the most appropriate lyrics she could think of.

_I'll miss your voice, _

_I'll miss your smile _

_I wish I could give you _

_a kiss from a thousand miles _

_Sleep well, my love... _

_Tonight when you close your eyes _

_Hear my long distance lullaby_

From across the room, Rayna felt that she was intruding, a voyeur on this intimate moment, yet she couldn't look away. Her heart broke further as she watched Juliette sing to her daughter for the first and last time. It was an image that she knew would never leave her, a devastating reminder of how fragile life can be. As the song ended, the slight movements the child had been making stopped, signaling the Abigail's final breaths. Juliette grasped at the baby just a little tighter as Avery put his arms around her and they both wept. The redheaded country legend wiped her own tears from her face and slipped away, unnoticed by the grieving parents.

* * *

Please don't hate me or throw sharp objects in my direction. Things will get better ... eventually. But I would like to hear what you think!


	8. Chapter 8

**Lean Into It**

Still own nothing.

The saying, it's always darkest before the dawn applies here. Not a happy chapter, but healing takes time.

Thanks again for all the reviews! I love to hear feedback.

* * *

The sound of his footsteps across the pure white marble floor briefly drew her attention away from the housewives screaming at each other on the large flat screen tv above the fireplace. Glancing at the clock, she saw that it was after 5pm. He was getting ready to head to the Bluebird as he had since a week after she left the hospital. He always offered to stay with her or for her to come with him, but she always insisted that he go without her. If she were being honest with him, she liked the emptiness of the house. It mimicked the way she felt. Still, even after a month. Empty.

Juliette could still see the tiny nose and blue eyes of the tiny newborn in her arms as she let go of a life she never got to live. It wasn't fair.

Avery walked around the sofa, crouching down to look her in the eyes. "You sure you just want to hang around here again? Dr. Smith said you've healed enough to get out of the house. You can come with me," he asked, a hopeful look in his eyes.

She looked away, shaking her head. "I'm fine."

He looked disappointed, as he always did. She could tell that he wanted to fix everything. That was just his nature. But he couldn't. What constantly amazed her was his unwillingness to give up on her. She knew he would try one more time before he left. "You're sure?" he asked, leaning down to kiss her. Her response came in the form of a glare. He nodded, backing away from her. "Don't forget about those demos that Rayna sent over. Maybe you could listen to some of them tonight."

The look in his eyes that told her he still loved her was evident as he made another attempt at giving her something to do. She wanted to feel bad for brushing him off. Really she did. But she couldn't feel anything. Except for the emptiness. Instead, she placated him with a small half-smile. "Maybe I will."

"Good," he said, as he exited the house.

The silence began to engulf her again after she heard his car pull out of the garage. She had the rest of the evening to herself. For some reason, she felt more restless than she had since they's been back here at hour Belle Meade mansion. Turning off the television, she wandered from one modern room to another like a ghost, longing for the comfort that she felt at the farmhouse. She knew it wouldn't come. After they left the hospital, she insisted on staying in town. She wasn't sure she'd ever go there again. The comfort she'd had there disappeared like the tiny coffin they had lowered into the ground that rainy day nearly a month ago.

Somehow she wound up in the basement area that served as an in-house studio and music room. Sitting down at the piano, she hit a few of the keys, shivering at the notes. Music, which had been the defining part of her life for so long, suddenly seemed so foreign to her. She hadn't sung since she sang Abigail to sleep for the last time. Tears pricked her eyes, as she drifted back to that moment, wondering if she could have done more. What kind of mother just let's go her daughter without a fight, she asked herself. _A terrible one_, a voice in her head kept saying. _You never would have been a good mother anyway. Look at who you learned from._ She couldn't get rid of the words as they kept repeating in her mind.

Looking down at the piano again, she began to play. She had never been great at the instrument, that was Avery's strong suit, but she could play enough. For a split second it crossed her mind to run upstairs and grab her notebook and work on something new.

But at the thought she suddenly stilled. Writing was too personal. Made her too vulnerable and open. She couldn't do that. Not now. It would hurt too bad. She knew where working on a song would lead and she couldn't go there. She just wouldn't.

Jumping off the piano bench, as if she had been burned, she backed away from the instrument.

She turned around, shaking her head. She spied the box Rayna had sent over, full of song demos just waiting for her to listen. That she could do. She could listen to other people pour out their hearts in song. As long as she didn't have to think about her own broken heart, she knew that she could do this. _You may be a horrible mother, but you're a damn good singer_, the voice kept prodding. Nodding to herself, she dove head first into the songs.

Hours later, Avery found her sitting on the floor in the basement surrounded by the demos. She looked up at him a familiar look in her eyes. "Let's make an album."

* * *

"How's Juliette doing?" Avery looked up from the soundboard to find Deacon leaning against the low wall a few weeks later.

He glanced around at the nearly empty Bluebird, then looked back to the older man. "She's ... okay, I guess." Avery had almost been relieved when Rayna had guiltily revealed to him that she told Deacon about the baby after she left the hospital the day Abigail died. He was actually glad to have another man to talk to about it. He couldn't admit it to Juliette, but he was struggling too. He was moving on but he had no idea how to help his fiancée. He couldn't help but think that Rayna saw it before he did and, by filling Deacon in, was trying to take care of him too. What he didn't know was that Rayna had immediately left the hospital in tears and somehow found herself at Deacon's doorstep. The whole story poured out. Which led to a discussion about her own daughters, which progressed to them realizing that maybe their story wasn't finished yet.

"You guess?" Deacon looked skeptically at the younger man.

Sitting down on the stool behind him, he shook his head. "She's different ... distant. It's been six weeks. I mean, we're okay, but she's been so closed off since ... since we buried Abigail. She's either been sleeping or making plans for the album. It's one extreme or the other. It's like she's on autopilot. I can't seem to get into her head."

Deacon sighed, worried about the couple. Particularly Juliette. He'd never seen her as anything less than a woman with a passion for living life to the fullest. Now she wasn't that anymore. She was more broken than anyone should ever have to be. "I'd guess there is a lot going on in there. A lot of sadness."

"Yeah, I know," Avery said. "I just want to make it better, you know."

The older man couldn't help but notice the very strong emotions clouding Avery's eyes. Deacon knew that this young man, who he could have killed when he broke up with Scarlett the first time, had once and for all given his heart to someone. And now that someone was broken and there was very little he could do about. Placing a hand on Avery's shoulder, Deacon nodded with understanding. "It's the curse and the blessing that we men have to deal with for the women we love."

Avery ran a hand through his hair and sighed. "Trouble is, I know that she is going to break at some point. She's strong, stubborn to a fault, but eventually, it's all going to come down on her. That scares me."

Deacon nodded, knowing as well as anybody that a Juliette Barnes breakdown of this magnitude would be epic. But he also knew from experience that hitting rock bottom can sometimes be the best thing for picking yourself back up. He just hoped that it would happen when Avery was there. She didn't need to go through that alone. "Just be patient. She'll come around."

At that same moment a few miles away, Rayna looked up at a very pale, very thin version of Juliette from across the large desk in her office in the new Highway 65 building. "Okay, so it looks like everything is in order for the album. Since you have your own studio, we don't have to worry about scheduling that. Same for the producer," she said as she checked things off of the list in front of her. "Is Avery pretty much done lining up the musicians?"

The blonde nodded. "Uh, yeah. I think it's pretty well set. Most of the songs are on reserve and we are still looking for a few more to give us a good selection to choose from for the final cut. We'll be back in the studio in two weeks, so we've got time to find the others."

Searching the vacant blue eyes, Rayna couldn't help but want to make things better. To at least push her toward healing. It was the motherly side of her that had grown for Juliette in the past six weeks. "You're sure you don't want to write anything?"

"No." she said shortly. "I'm not writing right now."

Unconvinced, Rayna looked at Juliette. She wanted to press for more, but the cold expression on the younger woman's face was a clear signal to her that she needed to back off. "Sounds like we are well on our way to your first Highway 65 record."

"Great!" the younger woman said with a smile that didn't come close to reaching her eyes.

Unable to restrain herself any further, Rayna sighed, closing the notebook in front of her. "Juliette, how are you really?"

Juliette rolled her eyes, scoffing at her. "I told you the first time you asked. And the second." She stood looking anywhere but at Rayna. "I am fine. I just ... want to get back to work. Get this album done."

"It's only been six weeks," Rayna said, looking down at her lap. "You should take some more time. Maybe you and Avery should take a trip. Get out of Nashville for a bit before you get started. Lay on a beach somewhere and just get away from all this craziness."

Rayna watched sadly as the shell of a woman gathered her things and acted as if she couldn't get out of the office fast enough. "Don't need anymore time. And, no offense, but I really don't want to talk about it. If you'll excuse me, Glenn and I have a meeting," she responded, throwing a bland "see you later" over her shoulder as she closed the door loudly behind her.

* * *

When Avery got home that night, Juliette was already in bed. Her eyes were closed, but he knew she wasn't asleep. After being together for as long as they had, he knew her breathing patterns and her posture when she slept. Lying there stiffly curled on her side facing the wall, she was obviously still awake and aware of his presence. Dropping his bag on the chair in the corner, he quickly undressed and slid into bed.

He had hoped that when they started preparing to work on the album that she would let him back in, let him love her the way he wanted to ... the way she deserved. But still, she shut him out of everything except their work. He felt as if she somehow was afraid to let him get close to her. She was there, still wearing his ring, but the emotion and connection seemed to be frozen.

Glancing over at her still form, he sighed, and gently placed a hand on her shoulder, hoping and praying for some kind of response. She never moved. He gently kissed her cheek and leaned in closely to her ear. "I love you," he whispered, but still she remained silent. Backing away, he pulled the covers up as he turned to face the opposite wall, a small gap between them that, in Avery's mind might as well have been an ocean. He couldn't help but wonder if they would make it through this in tact.

What he didn't know was that on her side of the bed, Juliette's eyes were open, and a tear fell from the corner of her eye onto the crisp white sheet below her. All she really wanted was to call his name and have him hold her all night, but she couldn't. She couldn't explain the fact that in her mind, she was connecting him to Abigail's death. Not blame, but connection. He was there through all of it. He held her while she held Abigail. They were forever intertwined. She wanted to stop pushing him away, but she was afraid that it might be too late. The thought of being without him scared her, but her fear was being overruled by the emptiness that still permeated her right down to her soul.

Sighing and fighting her sobs, she closed her eyes and forced herself to sleep.

* * *

Next chapter ... Juliette reaches her breaking point:

**_Ripping the headphones back off her head, there was fire in her eyes when she finally met his gaze. "It's my record, my song, and damn it, Avery, if I want to do the stupid thing forty five more times, we're doing it!"_**

Please review!


	9. Chapter 9

**Lean Into It**

Still own nothing.

I can't believe this is the final chapter! This story has been such an investment of time and emotions and I can't believe it's done! I am so, so grateful for the comments that have been posted. The response has been amazing, so Thank you! I would love to hear what you all think about the story as a whole.

Have no fear, the epilogue will come soon.

* * *

Pressing the intercom button, Avery got Juliette's attention through the glass. "I think we can call it a night. The song won't get any better than it is. It's perfect already."

Wearing the same frown she'd sported in earnest for the last few days and to a lesser extend the last three months, she shook her head at him. "No, it's not. There's still something wrong with the bridge. Let's run it again." She put her headphones on again and avoided meeting his eyes with hers.

He scoffed at her words. "What are you talking about, Juliette? It sounds amazing! It's nearly 3 in the morning. I don't know what the problem is, but it's time to go home."

Ripping the headphones back off her head, there was fire in her eyes when she finally met his gaze. "It's my record, my song, and damn it, Avery, if I want to do the stupid thing forty five more times, we're doing it!"

Frustrated, and growing angrier by the second, Avery tossed the notebook where he had written his notes about the song onto the nearby couch and walked toward the door of the booth with a scowl on his face. He reappeared inside the room with her after taking a second to lock the door from the outside then slamming it shut, ensuring that she could not walk away from him. He stood in front of her, arms crossed across his chest and glared at her expectantly.

"What the hell did you do that for?! Now we're locked in here!" Her jaw gaped open as she moved behind him to try to get the door open. She shook the knob like a caged animal. It didn't budge. "I hope you're proud of yourself. Acting like a child to prove your point. Now we are never getting home."

He chuckled bitterly as he turned to face her. "You didn't seem real interested in getting home a minute ago. I'm tired of this Juliette. Maybe by the time someone shows up tomorrow morning, you'll be honest enough with yourself to tell me what the problem is. Please, just talk to me."

"I don't know what you are talking about, Avery!" she brushed him off as she rolled her eyes. "I just want to finish the song. Do you, as my producer, have a problem with that?"

"No, but as your fiancé, I sure as hell do."

She stalked toward him pausing mere inches from him, tilting her head up to make eye contact. He could see both anger and pain in her eyes. "What is that supposed to mean!?"

He took a deep breath, in an attempt to calm himself down. He was unsuccessful. "It means that you aren't you right now, Juliette! I don't know who this is, but it isn't the girl I fell in love with! Look, I want to help you. I thought ... I hoped we were making progress ... after everything. It's been more than three months. I though you were moving on, what with working on the album and everything. But this past week ... something's wrong. And I don't know how to help because you won't talk to me or tell me what it is!"

He could see on her face that he was right, but he knew she wouldn't back down easily. "You think you can fix everything just by talking... Guess what, Avery, everything can't be fixed with fortune cookie wisdom!" she screamed at him, loud enough to make him glad that no one else was in the building.

Throwing his hands up in the air, he bit back with just as much venom. "I know that! But you aren't even giving me a chance to help! You've completely shut me out!"

Tears had begun to fall from her eyes as the words she'd been fighting for hours finally fell from her lips. "You can't help! You can't change the fact that she was supposed to be born today!"

Silence engulfed the room.

Avery felt as though the wind had been knocked out of him. She was right. He had forgotten. In the effort to move forward ... to help Juliette move past the most horrible thing any woman could go through ... he had lost track of the date that would have been their daughter's birthday. And he was ashamed. Devastated in the disappointed look on her face.

"I'm so sorry," was all he could muster as he choked back his own tears.

Rather than screaming at him again, a sob broke through and her face crumpled and it was as if Juliette was collapsing in on herself. "I still miss her. How can you miss someone you only met once?" Walking closer, he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close as she finally let it all out. Grasping tightly at his shirt and burying her face against him, she was finally was willing to talk about all that they lost. He remained silent as she continued to speak through her tears. "I wanted to see her take her first steps. I looked forward to her keeping us up at all hours of the night for feedings. I wanted to watch her go to kindergarten and graduate high school. I wanted to see you walk her down the aisle to get married, and watch her have kids of her own. I just ... more than anything ... I wanted to hear her tell me 'I love you, mama' like Maddie and Daphne tell Rayna. I wanted it all. Instead, I failed her. I'm just like Jolene, Avery."

So that was it. He shook his head. "No." He spoke softly to her as he placed his hands gently on her cheeks, lifting her face to meet his stare. "No, no, no. You aren't a failure. This ... what happened ... wasn't your fault. You know that. We don't know what the reason was, but it was out of our control. You can't blame yourself."

"How can I not?" she cried.

"Listen to me. You made Abigail's short time with us special. You held her and kissed her and she got to hear you sing to her. You did that. No one else could have. You are in no way a failure. You love her, and nothing will ever make that stop. Because of that, you are a great mother." He could physically see her demeanor and the look on her face change as his words sunk in. He led her over to the bench sitting in front of the piano and the both sat down. "We've got to keep on living our lives. For her."

She leaned her head against his shoulder and breathed deeply, wiping her eyes. "I know. I just want to be able to think about her and smile instead of feeling like my heart has been ripped out."

Grasping her hand, he kissed her gently. "I think we're getting closer."

* * *

The next afternoon, Juliette wandered around the farmhouse, reacquainting herself with the place. The pain she felt at the very thought of the farmhouse had been lifted off her shoulders during their fight the night before. As soon as Rayna and Deacon had freed them from their self-imposed prison, she knew where she wanted to be. She had him take her there as soon as they left the studio. It was as if, even without Abigail there, it was still home. She knew that feeling had more to do with the exhausted man sleeping upstairs in the bed they shared than the walls around her.

Sitting on the sofa, drinking a cup of coffee, she felt what she had longed to have for months. Peace. But a knock at the door broke into her moment, and she moved to open it. She wasn't surprised to find Rayna standing on the other side.

"Hey." Juliette could see the tense look on her boss' face, and wondered what brought her all the way out here.

"Hey," Rayna responded, clearly something on her mind. "I wanted to talk to you. You have a second?"

Juliette nodded. "Sure. Do you want to come inside?"

"No. I can't stay long," the older woman said, shaking her head. "I've got to go pick up the girls from Teddy's."

"Okay..." the blonde eyed Rayna suspiciously.

"I just wanted to find out how you are. I know you get tired of me asking," she added hurriedly, "but this morning, you looked different than I'd seen you in a long time. I don't know what happened last night - or why you guys were locked in the studio- but something changed in you. You looked like the Juliette Barnes I remember from before all ... this."

Juliette nodded. "Avery and I had a long time to just ... talk. Some of it wasn't pretty but we both had things we needed to say. I think it was a horrible, beautiful good thing for us. I realize that it's okay to be sad, to miss her. But I can't live in it. I know now that it was not my fault. Just because this happened, doesn't make me a bad mother. And as much as I love her, I have to move on. I have to make her proud of me."

Rayna smiled down at Juliette, knowing that what she said was real. She wasn't just saying this to get her to stop asking how she was. She had gained some color back into her face and she had life in her eyes. She wasn't 100 percent yet. But the country legend had no doubt that it was only a matter of time. Looking down at her purse, Rayna drew in a breath. "I wasn't going to give you this until you were ready. I think you are now. I really hope I didn't overstep my boundaries, but when I was standing there, and you were holding her, I wondered if you would be sad one day that you didn't get a photograph taken with her. So I took one with my phone." She pulled a flash drive from her purse. "The only copy of the photo is on this drive. I deleted it from everywhere else. No one else ever saw it. Just me. If you don't want to look at it, then destroy the drive. But I wanted you to have the chance to look back and remember how beautiful she was."

Mouth open with surprise, Juliette looked down as Rayna placed the drive in her hand, turned and walked back to her car, leaving the stunned young woman standing in the doorway. She stood there for what seemed like hours, until she moved to the porch swing. She was still there staring at the flash drive when she heard Avery's footsteps headed in her direction.

He peeked his head out the door, obviously relieved when he saw her. "There you are. Sorry I slept so long."

"You earned it," she said, a light laughter playing on the words. "for putting up with me for the last three months."

He walked over to her and placed a kiss on her lips and smiled at her. "Or it might have to do with you not wanting either of us to sleep once we got here."

"I would say I'm sorry about that, but I'm not. I missed you," she answered, a mischievous grin on her lips.

"I missed you too." As he smiled at her, his eyes wandered to her hand that held the gift that Rayna left earlier in the afternoon. "What's that?"

She sighed as he brought attention to the flash drive in her hands. She held it up almost reverently, as if she held the secret of life in her hands. Maybe for them she did, she couldn't help but think. "Um, Rayna gave it to me. It's ... a picture of you and me and the baby. She took it in the NICU."

Avery looked at her, surprise written all over his face and questions filling his eyes. "Did you look at it?" he asked hesitation in his voice.

She shook her head no. "Not yet. Will you look at it with me?"

He nodded and walked slowly into the house, returning with his laptop. Both of them held their breaths as the files opened. They both knew there was no going back once he clicked on the photo. Checking her eyes for reassurance, she nodded. They gripped each other's hand as if they were gaining strength from the contact. The photo that appeared immediately brought them both to tears. In the black and white image, Juliette, clearly in the middle of her song, looked down and made eye contact with Abigail, while Avery placed a gentle kiss on her tiny head. It was an image that almost belied the sadness of the moment, but for the tears coming down both of their faces.

He wrapped his arms around her. "It's amazing. She looks so peaceful. It's exactly how I want to remember her."

She reached her hand out to touch the newborn on the screen, nodding. "I don't know how, but I ... I think we're going to make it."

Then they smiled, thinking about their sweet Abigail.


	10. Epilogue

**Lean Into It**

(You guessed it, I own nothing)

Epilogue

This is meant to be read as a tv interview, a'la Robin Roberts' Road to the CMA Special that airs every year. So it's a little bit different writing style. Try to imagine how a news segment would run on Juliette. This just felt like the best way to finish up this story, by jumping ahead to see what happens. So put on your imagination hats and read and enjoy.

I would really, really like to know what you guys think, so please leave your input in the comments! Thanks for reading.

* * *

She was the hottest thing going in country music. A star, a sex symbol with a spitfire personality. Ten years ago, People Magazine called her breakout success "unparalleled in country, or any genre of music." Juliette Barnes was the one to watch.

She rode the wave of superstardom following the release of her quadruple platinum debut album, showing up on the covers of magazines and in cosmetics commercials. She was the all American "it girl." That success continued with her next two albums also going multiplatinum. She was nominated for countless awards over the years, was touring the world with stops dominated by sold out shows. Everyone thought she had it all.

But no one could imagine the speed at which America's sweetheart could fall from grace.

ABC news recently visited Juliette on her property just outside of Nashville. It's where she has lived, in a modest but beautifully renovated 1850s farm house, for the past six years. She showed us the land that is filled with a long history of country music royalty.

"I love it out here," she said as she showed us her favorite spot, under an old oak tree beside a lake. "You know, Tammy Wynette used to own this land. I can't help but feel that's why there is something magical in the air."

In 2013, Juliette's personal life took a turn for the worse and landed her tabloid headlines of a less than flattering nature. Scandal after scandal came to light, beginning with a shoplifting scandal involving a bottle of nail polish, caught on camera and put on youtube for the world to see. She left professional football player Sean Butler at the alter after a messy broken engagement. Neither one has ever talked about it publically. Possibly the saddest turn in Juliette's journey was the loss of her mother in a murder suicide. The police ruled it a drug deal gone bad, as her mother Jolene was a known addict, who had just completed a stint in rehab months earlier. An alleged affair with married billionaire mogul the late Charles Wentworth, who died in a private plane crash in 2015, followed.

But things began to look up for her at the Grammys the next year. She stunned the crowd with the haunting ballad 'Dreams' and won the coveted gramaphone alongside legendary Rayna Jaymes for their duet 'Wrong Song.' It would not be the last time the pair collaborated.

Barnes most recent project, due out next week, is called "The Truth About Me" and it is her most personal album to date. She wrote or co-wrote every song on the album. We asked her about it as we sat with her on the front porch of her beloved farm house.

"Is this record autobiographical?"

"I think in a lot of ways, it absolutely is. These songs were written over the course of the past seven or so years, they just never had a place on a record until now."

"Were they too personal? Because, listening to the lyrics, they seem like they really come from deep within you."

"I think if you asked any writer if their songs were personal, they'd say yes. That's where the best songs come from. And in this case, it's no different. I guess I just decided to put all of the songs that could be deemed super personal on one album. You know, it's no secret that I've been through some tough times. But over the years, I realized that everyone goes through times like that. I'm not special. I would hope that this record could be a source of hope for people."

That's when our interview took a turn into a part of her life that has been kept under wraps, until now.

"Tell me about the song 'Sweet Abby Ray.' That obviously came from a darker place?"

Hesitating a bit, Barnes took a deep breath and told us the real story behind the most powerful songs she's ever recorded.

"At the time I left Edgehill Republic, I was pregnant. I wanted to keep that part of my life private, away from the cameras and paparazzi. So I moved out here to get away from that. The whole story is complicated, and I won't go into details, but when it came down to it, I just needed to keep that for me. I was scared to death. Scared that I wouldn't be a good mother. Scared I would screw up like my own mom did. I didn't have a clue what I was doing, but I knew I loved that baby..."

Her voice drifted off and small tears formed in her eyes. The obvious question hung in the air. "What happened?"

Glancing over at her manager and her husband both standing just off camera, she told of their heartbreaking loss. "We lost her. Her name was Abigail Ray Barnes Barkley. I was about 25 weeks along in my pregnancy when I suffered some complications. They delivered her but there wasn't much chance of her surviving. She lived for about 24 hours."

"That must have been horrible for you. How did you survive it?"

"I almost didn't. But for the grace of God and an amazing medical team, I lived. Emotionally, it was difficult. It took ... a while. I was in denial for a long time, unable to come to grips with the fact that I wasn't the cause of it. That I wasn't a failure as a mother. It was just something that was out of my control. But it was heartbreaking. Fortunately, I wasn't alone. Avery never left my side. Through any of it. It was then that I realized that life really is easier when you just open your heart and let someone love you. Before that, commitment was the scariest word anyone could have said to me. But there is no way I would have gotten through it and moved forward without him."

Avery of course is Juliette's husband, and mega producer, Avery Barkley. Previously a virtual unknown in Nashville, he garnered attention by producing Juliette's first album for Jaymes' Highway 65 record label. The record produced huge crossover success for the star, earning her four more Grammys including the big one, Record of the Year, which they got to accept on stage together. Since then he has been the driving force behind songs for both her and Jaymes, as well as Will Lexington, Deacon Clayborne and most recently the successful debut album by Jaymes' daughters, The Conrad Sisters.

"Do you enjoy working with your husband?"

The smile on her face is unmistakable. "I do. I love it. Ever since we met, he's had a way of making me feel at ease in my own skin. I never felt that in the studio before him. But I also love to hear him work on other people's records as well. It's a good balance for us."

And their time is also balanced with chasing around a pair of happy, healthy two-and-a-half year olds, who we watched toddling around with their dad in the yard during our conversation. "They're twins. Do they have similar personalities?"

With a hearty laugh and a shake of the head, she answers with a grin. "Not at all! Ainsley is very much like her daddy. She's got an old soul, even at two. She's very introspective and quiet. And Alexander is just like me, poor kid. He's always wanting to be right in the middle of the action and he has no filter. Whatever he thinks, he says. So that's something we will be working on before kindergarten starts," she says, more laughter lilting off her lips.

"You look like motherhood agrees with you. Were you afraid of it, after losing your first daughter?"

"I think for a while I was so adamantly against having more children. I was afraid of going through that kind of loss again and I honestly didn't think I'd survive another blow like what happened with my baby girl. I felt like I had become the failure that my mother was."

"What changed your mind?" I asked after capturing a special moment of the family spending time under that old oak tree by the lake, which now holds a swing, perfect for their two growing kids.

"Avery. I saw him with our friends' children. I knew I couldn't let my fear keep him from being a father. And deep down, I wanted it too. I was just too scared to do anything about it."

"And now you have two!"

"We got two for the price of one."

"Any more in the future?"

"No!" she says with a giggle. "We are done with these two. I don't know that I could handle another one while chasing them around. The only projects Avery and I will be collaborating on will of the musical variety."

"Where do you want to be in 30 years?"

"Wow! What a question. Um, honestly? Right here. I want to be sitting on that porch swing with my husband, maybe watching grandkids playing out in the yard by that point."

"Still making music?"

"Sure. But at what level ... who knows. The fame and the bright lights ... they all fade. Maybe I'll get a Tuesday night slot at the Bluebird. Who knows. Family is the one constant that I never had in my life until six years ago. And I don't ever, ever want to be without it again."

Love, motherhood and talent, mixed with the trials of Juliette Barnes' past have combined to create a unique sense of reality for the star. At 31, she has finally found the peace that she longed for in her early twenties, and grown to become one of the most consistently solid country music artists of her generation. Like her new album, she has come to a place in her life where she is open and ready to show the world who she really is.

* * *

**Thanks so much for reading! Don't forget to let me know what you think in the Reviews!**


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